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Reflection
[[ Reflection ]]
...Christmas Eve...
Staring Down A Barrel...Tears Rolled Down N Splashed The Lead Of The Rifle
Cause An Hour Ago, N A Tangle Of Dismantled Metal, 2 Parents Declared Dead On Arrival
Heart Split In Two Like It Was Cut With A Vast Sword, With To Dead Bodies IN A Crashed Ford
Jimmy, A Young 6 Yr Old Views His Own Parents Brains, Teeth, Blood Across The Dash Board
His Spirit Keeps Floating, Bottled Up With True Emotions Of Sadness, Hatred And Loathing
As He Looks At The Car, Scattered With Christmas Gifts, Lacing, Wrapping And Clothing
They're Voices Are Haunting, Tryin To Be A Man, So Hes Stompin This Dumb Hurt
Pushin Away The Relatives, And Even Tho Hes A Kid, Hes Not Wantin Their Comfort
He Makes It Home, Twelve Past 10, Covered With His Shakes And His Fears
His Eyes Are Swelling Then, His Mind Dwells On Them And He Breaks Into Tears
He Starts To Calm Down, Chokin Back Tears, But Then He Turns His Neck And Sees
Somethin That Makes Him Fall Down And Cry, Its 'To Jimmy Love Mom' Under The Xmas Tree
[[ As Jimmy Turns His Gaze To Wear The Pistol Lay, He Collapses And Faints Until He Awakes On Christmas Day ]]
...Christmas Day...
His Eyes Awoke, Memories Flood Back Of 2 Parents Victims Of Car Incidents Crushed And Slaughted
Beside Him A Smith N Wesson, And 2 Cyanide Pills About To Be Emersed IN A Cup Of Water
As He Contemplates, He Thinks Its A Dream, Focused, And To Him It Seems
That The Snub Nose Will Do The Trick, If The Pills Are Duds N His Blood Stream
[[ On A Pen N Pad He Quickly Scribes ]]
Cruel World,
My Heart Shattered, As You Were Quick To Take Away The Only Thing From Me That Matters
So Im Going Out With A Bang, As I Take These 2 Pills And A Bullet To Make My Brain Cells Splatter
Sincerly Yours,
Jimmy
[[ Time Passes Unseemingly, As Jimmy Pops 2 Pills Next To The Chiminey ]]
'To Jimmy Love Mom' He Unwrapped It, He Had Yet Another Cryin Fit While Clutching The Sweater
Puts The Gun To His Head, Pulls The Trigger, Leavin Brains And Blood On The Letter...
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hey this is pretty nice mayne fosho... story rolls well.. had some nice vocab and rhymes throughout.. mos def has originality in how you worded and expressed the piece.. had lots of poetic qualities.. and i did get into the flow .. so yeah!
i'm not sure if i liked the 2 pills poppin much.. as i thought the gun by itself would be sufficient enuff to deal with the suicide.. or perhapps a different method of death could of done... or maybe you could of added some imagery to the point where the bullet goes off and could of maybe described the bllood and brainss everywhere in a lil more graphic detail... sa'll good tho fosho....ill rhyming
pz
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thanks for the feeds fams..................
UPPin
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this was pretty hot you stayed constant in this......it rolls perfect every added factor to the situation is so probabke that it adds reality. this was a lil twisted and morbid but that added charm to it overall i have to say nice work.
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i did like dis good shit on da multi tip...... i could get into dis......... da flow lozt me a few timez but dis iz still good 1 of da betta thingz ive senn on hea
His Spirit Keeps Floating, Bottled Up With True Emotions Of Sadness, Hatred And Loathing
As He Looks At The Car, Scattered With Christmas Gifts, Lacing, Wrapping And Clothing
He Starts To Calm Down, Chokin Back Tears, But Then He Turns His Neck And Sees
Somethin That Makes Him Fall Down And Cry, Its 'To Jimmy Love Mom' Under The Xmas Tree
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Good looks people...............
more feeds........
Word^
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Nice drop.. Had eart to it... Good lines that had meaning
8.5/10
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yah really good drop wierd layout but it works,
it seems to me a very deep and emotional verse
story flows well and it kept a good flow all the way threw to the end
yah i really liked it mate keep that up.......
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WoRD^
more feeds..............
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UPPin.............FeEdbaCC
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yo this shit was tough son i like it from the beginning to the end homey, this shit was so nice i had to read it twice, nice vocab very interestin, i like every thing about it homey lookin forward to more of ur drops aight 1
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Good lOoks Fams................
UppIn more Feeds
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