mad vocab verse

desperate forces galvanize in the war for my attention
its as though the worlds conspiring to distract me from my mission
bitch just look an listen
the nations sayin what im missin
plus i keep havin the same fuckin vision
my dreams comin true an thats my final decision
its like im the qb an the world keeps blitzin
im surrounded by frauds an they wont quit pretendin
so i got my pistal gripped
changin prewritten scripts
cause i refuse live my inherrited destinyl
im gone make it famous wit what god blested me
see im more than just a rapper
i got so many different factors
im country but dont drive tractors
lyrically im a master
fuck wit me ill blast ya
cause you just a fuckin acta
see i know what its like on the street
i do what i do to make the ends meet
i gotta please the pheins
to get money for me
my flow is emaculate
my beats the extravagant
put em together they hazardess to ya health
they make you relapse on shit youve already felt

From a grammatical aspect...your open mic was disgusting. You called it a vocab piece yet the vocab was found rarely. You spelled half of the whole writing wrong. I dont even know what to tell you. Work on all your aspects of rhyming and flow.
rating- 2.5/10

yo i just spell the way i say it an listen to a beat when you read an make a flow it works better that way an if you dont see the vocab you need fuckin glasses now thanks for the feed

Obviously there is vocabulary. Without vocab a verse wouldnt even be there. You were trying to approach the method of using an outstreched form of big vocabulary. The irony is, almost all of your big words arent even spelled right. Im just trying to assist you in your attempt to elevate.

i appreciate that but i just spell it how i say it

fuck that nigga yo - i fucked with it. it kinda fell off in the middle but it came back a little bit. i feel what u sayin on the spell it how u say it shit - shit was straight. sum niggaz on here jus dont know how to read the words to a flow if ya flow not exactly the same throughout, but sum niggaz switch they flow up in the verse - like u did. I liked the flow, vocab and the lil punches was straight - u could tell they were there jus as a tease not to really hit hard. Altogether - not a masterpeice - but good shit.

thanks man uppin

not that much vocab in the verse tite throws u off
it wasnt that great
structure was meh
coulda used more vocab
lol
overall i say elevate allitle

wtf. the only big wor din here was galvanize

elevate your vocab. and make your structure less retarted-looking

lousy and does not meet our guidlines as far as rules and titles go...

vocab was horrible, trust me....

Its Str8..

Could use sum werk..

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Percept

wtf. the only big wor din here was galvanize

elevate your vocab. and make your structure less retarted-looking

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what he said.

Word ya need to work on evrythin I see u tryed to used vocab but ya worded it horribly work on it mayne
Look at other OM's and get the hang of it
Elevate and try again

thanks ya'll will work on it

up ur vocab
alrite piece
structure ws ok
flow ws ok
elevate ur vocab
keep tryin