Wasted Talent.

Wasted Talent

Its been about 3 years of verses dispearsed for peers...
with jeers, curses and a surpluss of clear worthless tears.
I've unearthed some fears & birthed many a story of beer...
Some were boring to hear, others were adored by the ear.
Reassured by a meer.. compliment or vote of confidence...
or by a quote from a domininant poster with prominence.
Some kept me closer to dropping shit as i chose not to quit.
Others exposed sloppyness in my prose to stop me a bit.
Got me to just.. not to copy shit & find my own style.
So in the mean while, it seems i'll just compile pieces
that aren't Forever Ill & will forever be decent
See, even recently i've written poorly more frequently
and have yet to stream my voice on any known frequency.
These words speak to me, but I just repeat them secretly
like I have an album that I want to keep from leaking. We..
all have hopes and wishes we expect to come true.
But the truth is.. not many, if any, actually do.
Alot of these con's act like they got a contract or two.
And some do, but the rest just get the facts all askew.
They are wack.. so they attack the new jacks who
just want cats to react with some feedback. Through..
out my time on the net i've gotten & given respect.
But i've come to accept that my position is less..
than those who let all of thier ambitions progress.
Consequently, i guess.. my admission is this...
I'm on a road to nowhere.. YES.. ignorance is bliss.
Still, im vigorously pissed fame is igg'n me. Dissed..
by same game i've meticuously aimed at & missed.
I trained to spit, but never got passed save & print.
The only one to blame is Rich. Im short changing my wish..
by staying the same old way.. i know.. its lame & bitch.
Its a shame I dont switch.. to different mind frame & twist..
my fate so it exists on the same plane as say.. a Jay & Kiss.

good rhyming n scheming.. tite flow..content was ok.. structure yeah..vocab...ok not too hot.... couple cliches were a bit meh..multies fine..could of had a few more mettas or similies to liven it a bit i'd say .. just my quick opinion...
a pretty ill piece still..especialy the flow and consistancy was real good

1

Thanks man. Appreciated.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=255653&page=1
peep it "The Prophet: Man vs Machine"

hot multies, it really helped the flow, and the structure was nice, good job with that, this would sound doep on audio, and the topic, though it's been done before, is still not completely played out, also the vocab wasnt that big, try upping that, otherwise, good job, wordplay was pretty good and flow was on point.

stay back

Well man, this is the first Ive read from you. And, Im not dissapointed at all, I actually enjoyed this read like all fucking hell. This shit touched me in a way man, I can actually feel your emotion here, I know what your talking about, I myself dont go through something exactly like this, but its along these lines. This sounds more like a life story, which, would make the imagiry much easier to pursue, and you did great on it, I totally understood what you were explaining. Your vocabulary was sweet, no kid words, all big, grown-up words, lol. But that makes this peice even better. Next dude, was your flow and multies, I was in aw when I read the first couple lines, and you didnt fall off one bit in here, thats mostly what had amazed me, it was all the way through, no choppyness, maybe a little bit here and there, but damn dude, the matched syllables, pretty much everything your supposed to do when you want a peice to come out more than decent. Your structure was fine, strucutre isnt really a big factor in OM's to me, or even Poetry of course, I meen, it helps the reader follow along, so good strucutre doesnt hurt, but I would never bash someone on it. But yours was perfect none the less.

So overall, this peice was fucking sweet, I enjoyed reading this, and I as not dissapointed one bit, you did a great job expressing this shit, and adding multies, flow, everything. Truely a job well done. Im looking forward to seeing more from you in the future. Keep it up man!

*Nominates*

wow i liked everything bout this nice topic tha lines and flow it as all good

Thanks for the feed back. It is much appreciated.

woa......this is a real tight drop...i was feelin this all the way..flow was here..very smooth and made it an easy read...rhymes were good and complex..good multies....strucutre was like perfect..vocab was goood.....topic was interesting and i liked this..overall this drop was tight..keep it up....peace

Thanks again.

Uppin over the trash.

gd rhymin
gd flow
gd structure
8/10
keep it up

Thanks

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...t=255653&page=1
peep it "The Prophet: Man vs Machine"

i dont wanna freepost but rtf and hit that up plz

Uppin

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=258893&page=2

Rtf on my collab if you dont mind. Its getting slept on.