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The Mysterious light
The Mysterious Light
I was sleeping and later was awaked by a bright light
shingin out side i knew it wasnt a baby night light
my lil bro sumtimes puts it in my room, i dont know why
then the light hit my eye again and i looked in the sky
nuthin around just stars,the moon and a slight breeze
and movement of branches and shadows from trees...
ready to close the window and go straight back to sleep
across the street was a light shining and a sound like a beep
it was green and i saw a shadowy figure lookin at me
couldnt make out it's face but i knew it wasn't happy
I decided to let this event slide by for now cuz i was tired
then later that night i woke up to a noise like a gun fired
ran to the window to see what the noise could possibly be
looked everywhere, then spotted a person whatchin me
It ducked and ran outta sight, then i saw cops drivin this way
they surrounded the house,cops fleein every which way...
pinched myself to see if i was dreamin, cant beleive this day
I got dressed into sum clothes and walked down stairs...
just did this to get a closer look at what was going on
i saw glowing green blood scattered all over the lawn..
cops ushered me back into the house and i went to bed
woke up and ran to the window, it was just about dawn
ran downstairs and went across the street the blood was gone
it was probably my imagination or just a plain tipical dream
i knew that blood was just fake couldnt be from an evil feind
Next,right when i strolled into my room the ooze was on my floor
on the ceilin was more, why are they in my room for!!??
how did they get in if i was in here the whole entire time
all of a sudden a felt a sudden trickle of the green grime
I couldnt beleive this was real, i neva seen slime........
I ran to the kitchen and treid to call the police......
but no one answered and i ran outside through many streets
knockin on doors none answered even my best friend
this couldnt be another dream, i couldnt think that again
ran into a store and there was a man gettin eatin by green shit
this is just mean shit, probably an alien nation that dont mean shit
a scientist busted through the door and fired a nuclear gun
and ordered me to run and i heard shots and shots bein poped
and he walked out and said that Mysterious light is the evil one
those green blobs are just the first threat, a.k.a level one..
I followed the scientist to his lab and he strapped me with a suit
gloves, a big ass wepon and a big bare of nice leather boots
he said its ready for action and we are gonna kill the green blobs
now all we have to do is pray for strength from god.....
To Be Continued.........
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niceeeee homie, that was a crazy drop. Structure was excellent, flow was great ur ryme sceme was tight 2. fuck all those lagistics thought i wanna realy talk bout this story. it was dope as shit i wanted it to keep going at the end u better right a damn sequal. I could feel ur story homie and it was creative as shit. And i mean it there better be a sequal cause im into dis shit. pm me whwn it comes out for real homie find me and show me it cause im already thinkin wats gonna happen next.
aliens, light, futuristic shit
dope drop
9.5/10
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nice format and structure..flow is tite..multies were like ok nothing too great but ok..tho some of the end rhymes seemed a bit basic at times.. but still ok i guess..
had some good imagery..vocab was ok ish... had some good poetic aspects throughout the piece..i dont like seeing repetitive rhymes for some reason even if they a multi or internal w/e like you rymed shit with shit. and one with one..i dont like those ishes more time..seems like too basic and easy to do...other than that a good piece..
7.5/10
stay up
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iight.....thanks for the feed....
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Man that ish was dope, good rhymes, good flow, pretty phenominal overall...some lines were a little weaker then others, and didnt have the meaning that the good ones did, but man, this was a tight drop, love to hear it in audio.
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tight flow, multis were there and werent, damn creative, images were plastered throughout, nice linkage.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=257078
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thanks for the feed...uppin
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niceeeee homie, that was a crazy drop. Structure was excellent, flow was great ur ryme sceme was tight 2. fuck all those lagistics thought i wanna realy talk bout this story. it was dope as shit i wanted it to keep going at the end u better right a damn sequal. I could feel ur story homie and it was creative as shit. And i mean it there better be a sequal cause im into dis shit. pm me whwn it comes out for real homie find me and show me it cause im already thinkin wats gonna happen next.
peep the link at the bottom of my sig
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Good Shit Homie.i Realy Like This Piece Here.i Really Like How You Went Real Deep With Your Emotion And Your Imagry In This Piece.i Could Picture And Feel What Was Going On In This Piece And Thats Good.also You Had A Good Strcture And Good Use Of Your Vocabuary Too.overall I Give This Piece A 9/10.keep Up The Good Work Hope To See More Soon
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thanks both of you...uppin
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DAMN...i aint goin to w/e country u live on, i believed tht shit
flow - 9/10
structure - 9/10
imagery - 10/10
rhymin - 8/10
like it? - 10/10
overall - 9.2/10
this piece ws amazin, cant wait to read the nxt part
the imagery ws the best ive seen lately, i really believed wot u writ
DO NOT stop writin/spitin/rappin cos if u always make stuff this gd, u'll get loads of respect
KEEP IT UP
can u comment on 'Love' and 'Supremacy' in om, (first page) i wuld really appreciate it if u did...
peace man - kill the bastard green blobs
