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Cold and Kicked Out
I was fuckin freezing, it jus snowed bout a foot deep
And I had to walk home thru the snow, playin footie [foot-tee]
Then I got locked out because my brother took my key
About two months ago, and he never gave it back to me
So I go round to the back, and see an open window
Climb in, knock over some glass ornaments
Turn on the radio listen to tournaments
And get pissed off at the broken shit and the cold
I turned on the heating about an hour ago now
But I’m still frezzin my bollocks off, can’t feel my feet
Tryna make a cup of coffee but the water needs a high heat
To boil…my mum comes and home and I’m like
‘Mum, why the fucks it so cold?’ I swore when I spoke and
She was like ‘Don’t cuss at me, it’s fuckin broken’
And she starts havin a go at me for sayin fuck and she’s
And she’s usin the fuckin word every sentence every word, I say ‘Please
Don’t have a go at me for this, it not my fault, you bought me up wrong
You were listenin to Vanilla Ice, Well Ice, Ice Baby, Vanilla Twice
So I had a bad childhood before I was born, because of your lice
That you said no one knew about, but when I’m growin up on the streets
Its all everyone talks about, your fuckin crabs, my life sucks’
Then she had a go at me for talking about her personal problems
And I was like ‘Fuck you bitch, I’m fuckin leavin’
And she let me, so I’m writin this wack crap, I’m sneezing
Freezin, wheezing, breathin to much cold air I’m seasonin
Myself with pepper like a salad jus to warm me up
SO now I’m tryin to sneak back in to mine
Cos my friends won’t let me stay with them, they ain’t got the time
To deal with all my shit that I’m goin thru with girls, school
All my thoughts are confused, jumbled up, like a whirlpool
And…oh my god! My brothers comin up to me
He’s sayin sorry, he’s givin me my fuckin key
So I go home, throw my mum out, call her a bitch
And lock the door and change the locks
And sock you saw…stranger cocks
Can’t think what else to write because I’m back home
Listenin to music, Eminem, and Dre on Off the Dome
I’m out…
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yo that was deep nice wordplay flow was tight the topic was just wow u never see anyone do that shit i like this it was eminem when he was sad nice 8-10 for my rating
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comment on mine and i'll comment on ures (leave links)
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this was good....topci was interesting and the rhymes were good
flow was good and pretty smooth...structure was even most of the time
vocab was pretty iight....work on that a bit.....good drop overall
peace--
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that piece really flowed it was done with great rhymes and even better structure 9/10
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