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Eternal Rest
ETERNAL REST
Wise Wizard= Blue
Women= Black
Warrior= Red
"Oh god of heaven please give me power for my magic
I promise i will not try to make this spell so tradgic"....
One flick of my wand and this spell will be complete...
That women will become eternally in the mode sleep...
The spell wont have to be repeated, the women is young
I flicked the wand and she began to sing and my ear rung
Those tune she sung still remained comin out her lung..
her breath not gettin any lighter as she fell to the ground
suddenly there was a complete change in the loud sound
this very moment there was not a sound to be found....
[IN HER MIND)
Oh, how will i ever come out of this eternal rest spell.
i rather get burned or live after life in bloody hell...
that might seem harsh but this aint no picnic........
I could play memories in my like boys and a chick flick..
my eyes were closed i knew i wasnt breathin or movin..
The wizard could have let me say words for approving..
he just randomly chose me to complete is evil spell....
The last thing i remember is the painful feel when i fell..
I wish i could go back and stop this spell from comin to me
Plus that wizard never even saw me or even knew me!
Why, oh why, did this have to happen to early in my life
i was really hopin that i could be a great wife............
I Have come to fight the wizard that made a spell tradgic
my powerful sword is so strong and overpowers magic
no way i can be defeated and i will never give up....
All i have to do is get tough and keep my head up
Armor glimmerin in the sun i walked up to the hut
The door swung opened and knocked me on my butt
I got right up and said thats enough and i charged
My sheild was as flat as a sailing little barge............
It blocked the magic and i stabbed him with my sword
He was pinned down by the sword and told me sumtin
he told me how to reverse the spell now or nuthin...
it wouldnt work if i didnt do it in a fuckin minute...
I did what i had to do and the spell was finished....
I have overpowered the wizard and now everyone is safe
then i went back to my home village and relaxed in place
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Shit's different.. that's a good thing.. shit was pretty good too.. Your flow was on point.. it was goin across smoothly.. definately workin with some shit man.. as long as ya rappin on point ya writting is there.. stay up playa.. 1Luv
peep my spit "Makin it to tha Top!" http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=250051
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ima drop feed on this tommorow cuz i gotta go right now. peace.
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This was certainly unique bro. I could catch the flow throughout... which was good. I felt you couldve you used a more descriptive vocab in certain parts. Im not actually sure whether Im feeling the actual idea... but its original so thats a plus. Keep it up bro, feelin this.
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nice flow and rhyme scheme fosho foshizzle .a nizzle..i like the set up and elivery as well...fact i liked the rhyme scheme of the 1st verse best..def fresh to me in concept..
had some nice vocab use..easy to read and interesting to follow
nice use of colours too...yea its pretty nice textual matter
enjoyable read
stay upz
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something i liked was the originality of this piece. the whole battle between the wizard, the girl, and warrior was very original. your flow was nice, but try adding some multi's here and there. vocab was alright.. nothing special. overall this was an alright piece. 6/10
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that was hot man you was on point
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different to normal stuff but it was good, good structure, good rhymes
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uppin 4 more feed..............
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uppin this for the last time today..c'mon dont sleep on diss leave linkz and i'll return the feed
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It was decent for the type of piece you made it out to be...Honestly I don't like mythical stuff but this one makes you think...lol...Either you play a lot of video games or you just decided to write about this out of nowhere (Weird)...lol but anyways...decent, looks good flows well...I suggest just subtitling it instead of making it different colors to make it look a little better...and re-read what you write out loud so you can hear some of your mistakes...but good job anyways...7.6/10...
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I liked this peice...creatvie with each character..rhyme scheme was coo..flow was very smooth strucutre was even..topic was cool..interesting too..i liked this. good drop...keep it up..