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amnesia
September 6th, 1967
It's me and my family, were moving to a better place
you can see the joy on my mom's face, we never felt this way
i think about home, my room, my bed.. and im still very content
this feelings very new to me, i cant explain it.. cuz its very complex
i walk to the front of the boat, im havin a hard time walkin on the wet floor
suddenly the boat hits somethin, and i flew over board....
.. i wake up, i dont know what happened.. my head aches
my memory seems erased, my mind is blank
so i sit and try to contimplate, why did all my memorys fade
my eyes start to unblurr, im in some kind of hospital bed
i have no feelings in my head, but im dripping sweat..
..and start to feel nervous, my head again starts hurtin
i look in the mirror to see what i look like on the surface..
and i see a man, damn.. i dont even know who i am!
and as i look around, i still have no clue where i am, god damn
.. i see the door open, and i see a guy i dont know walk in
he looks at me and says nottin, and after a couple mins. he starts talkin
he starts by saying you probably know nothing about now..
i said how? how do you know, he says nothing, not a sound
.. he looks around and answers.. "you suffering from amnesia"
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dam this shit was tight. the flow you came with was hot and i understood through out what you meant, came with nice rhymes to it. nice topic you chose as well, never saw some one write some shit about amnesia but you came tight with this one, vocab wanst too strong but you had hot rhymes and put together a well drop
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damnice flow, it was strong thrughout the whol ething, except a ltitle at the begginging, imagery was decent, i couldnt entirely picture your situation though, original topic, its dope, try using a thesaurus, vocab wasnt that strong, and neither was the flow, try using a more complex rhyme shceme.
peep GODS OF DESTRUCTION
the links in my signature
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Original....I like it....It's got a good flow and the structure straight...only problem would be the vocab and imagery....but with better vocab comes better imagery...so once you get that down shits gonna be dope....good drop fam...peace.
-Play-Boy
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yeah.. this was a quick one.. so i didnt get a chance to really put shit like extensive vocab and stuff like that.
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Sorry for freepostin but your inbox is full...couldn't send a pm...might wanna clean that by the way...but is this the same Tuckzz from underground?
-Play-Boy
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It was tight, you had good words in there, and flow was striaght keep up the good work man
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