Came Back to the Hood collab fet lyric striker

Skribble= blue
Lyric Striker=Green



You know who this its the nigga of the city
i run this bitch like fifty and p diddy
if you cant do that like i can, quite a pitty
dont fuck wit me cuz your rhymes are shitty
Listen to this nigga spittin rhymes for life
i'm wit my nigga lyric...we ready to strike
so watch ya back when ya walkin good
cuz I came back to tha mutha fuckin hood!!!
Skribble you know is back for a reason
he came back for revenge on a nigga
he wants to make niggaz stop breathin
cuz i wont hesitate to pull the trigga
i wont sweat on gettin cops on my tail
and trust me niggaz i wont go to jail
i got connection up in this damn hood
i can get out fo trouble, i could!!!!!!!!
i am respected highly by gangstaz
and for the everybody, i thank yuz

I came back to tha hood with sum lyrical talent
people asked have i killed, i answer,"no i havent"
why would people wanna ask me stupid shit
i came with sum with sum shit...brand new shit!
Dont think to diss me, i'll come back in minutes
i'll leave you to die but i'll come back to finish
my lyrics kill all wanna bees who think they good
but in the mean time i came back to the hood
Welcome me to the place where i alwayz belong
and this is my hood anthem a.k.a a gangsta song
Now i have to live the life i alwayz lived 24/7
like said in my homiez collab the hood is my heaven
Blue, red and white, gang colors walkin in the hood
all my girlz alwayz lookin good as they should

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=235334
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=235279

honestly, the flow was okay, you both could have had better flow, because the lines were shortened nahmean, but as i read it was hot. the vocab could be worked on, i felt the rhymes came too basic and way too ordinary but you both had enough in your verse to put feeling into it. this could have had more drastic shit to it and some n some more feeling from it then what you both came with okay. this was decent though just keep elevating and you will get better with that shit.

much luv
hit my drop up this my callab with shellz
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=237849

aiight..thanks...........i'll have part 2 tommorow, its gonna be real hot..its gonna have sum good action

^^^^^ i would love to see that....... imma bout to drop a piece called "timber" be looking out son

Sorry Skrib And Strike but i wasnt feeling this piece it was too similar to the last piece i read from you. Its not as bad as a lot of other Om's but it was lacking a lot of things to make it stand out. First off there was pretty much no concept, a lot of my Om's dont have concepts but i always have sick punchlines and metaphors mixed with multies to make my pieces stand out, thats what was lacking in the verses. Try and think of some original concepts work on your punchlines and metaphors this will help your pieces become much more complex. Also i felt the vocab was average so this limited you to very average imagery so that needs to be worked on. Everytime you elevate your pieces will improve. Ive been writing rhymes for 5 years now so it takes time to improve but the more you write the more you will learn. Try and work in some multies to your pieces this will add another bit of complexity to your oms. Not a terrible piece but try and work on what i said and i think you will be better Om writers.
Can you return the feed on my new Om id appreciate it:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=245014

aiight, thanks for the advice...uppin

uppin i guess...wow...this forum is dead

uppin 1 more time