The Greatest Lesson: Poetry

Poetry
MF Prince
Your beauty is timeless
Recreating a crude example is mindeless
in fine whisps of imagination...
my pen transforms humous through words
and births page and spine to the once divine
listen...and hear the faint exhalations of exclamation
pulsing in the veigns of sanity
clotting the allusions of perfection in humanity
Through ages of chiseled stone
to pages of vivid tones
spoken with deaf threats of many hues
and painted with the eye of the beholder
you formed impervious of flaw
with supple nuances that curved to my delight
and enlightened the palest minds
exchanging greetings with the hands of time
it was you...who i dreamed of crudely carving
profusely bleeding from the mind
until i gave my life to quench my starving
Biting the forbidden apple
one taste of your elation lifted the veils
and my failed presumption of transcendance
fell to the ground with iron efficiency
You've given me my aim, a goal!
while inaccuracy plagues my hold
and assasination plots on my eyes
comply to raid my soul
You've taken control
as i sculpt your splendor in slow motion
Potions of ignorant notions i drink
inebriated by the ocean i think
and watch as many lost souls wave
page in hand scribes of a lost age
and often days i've paused accepting the plight
in a losing battle where many, more skilled have failed
still i grasp my pensword and swing
what a world this brings!
I've given my soul, and you've given your wealth
I've given my health and you've given your gold
And yet your finest treasure is yet to be bought
And your greatest lesson ever told...is yet to be taught
1luv.

well despite my desire to burn you at the stake
i suppose ill reply honestly to this piece

i think you wrote a masterpiece of poetry something very beautifully written upon itself

the idea of poetry and being written on as itself is a beautiful idea
there are many many things i liked about this piece but out of it all i loved the poisen apple line it struck me back to snow white and that eveil old witch then again adam and eve falls into place there as well
i sure do think the apple has been wrongly mistitled in this world

i liked the particular short line structure of the piece and how it fell together in just the right spots at just the right times to make it easy on the eyes as well as the mind

great piece
i dont feel the need to dote much more
i may end up losing some on my anger twords you :)

Thanky spanky lol, elevation is key, 1luv.

the structure was okay threw me off in some ways. but this was interesting, you came with some positive images painted in this. the topic was great. i felt a more sophisticated title would've did it better to capture peoples attention more. you came with good vocab. everything was nice the structure, like i said needs to be improved just a little bit but it was hot. liked the wording that you used t present your poem

9/10

Thanks alot for the replies, appreciate the love, elevation as always key, 1luv.

Elevation people...1luv.