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Depression
depression...is it a sickness or is it some kind of disease
or is it true what ppl say tat it only exists if u believe
are you born with depression and can it possibly be cured
or is it under the human control and can be pulled
theres always been wonders and questions but still no finds
or maybe the world is wrong and depression is just a state of mind
how many ppl suffer everyday from affects of depression
the world will never know if we dont come out and make a confession
are you depressed and im depressed how are we supposed to know
and if we are depressed what do we do were do we go????
are there doctors that can help or cure this..........maybe
but there all pshyciatrist...i'l feel self conscious...i'l start thinkin im crazy
am i the only one out therewho actually wonders about depression
...........and are studies of this sickness still actuall progressin
am i crazy or depressed in your eyes just for makin this song
if so then your crazy and deppressed 4 not thinkin dis om is wrong
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aiight homie.. i like the concept.... but the peice its self is kinda average. you need to develop ur lines better... use more wordplay adn more complex rhyme schemes... adn multis is always a good thing.. ur structure was good.. its jus su was real simple throughout this peice.. keep working at it....
peep dis for me adn leave sum honest feedbacc... http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=241387
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I actually liked this. Not so much for the technicalities, but the idea behind it. It was original, fairly creative, and even though he didnt pull it off as well as id of liked - It was a fresh idea, and its good to see the newer heads trying something new. Originalitys lacked by a LOT of newer heads noadays, and thats essential to Open Mic pieces in my opinion. Granted, the rhyme scheme and multies werent to a high standard - but that aside, I enjoyed reading this.
You have potential there kid. Props.
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Decent Short Piece.....Cold Of Been Doper....Work On Your Wordplay.....Like Brighten It Up With Multi's Cliches, Metaphor's, Things Like That.....But It Wasn't That Bad!!!
Pz.
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nicely done man, drop was dope, flow and strucutre was like incredible, topic was interesting and very enjoayble to read, rhymes and vocab were both tight, well done.....topic was well chosen.....complexity was here but i think you could have done btter with that, not really anything wrong with this drop, jsut keep it up and good drop..peace
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this was hot yo, loved hoe you stayed on topic through out, the rhyems you had alsong with vocab was hot also. the topic wa sgood many can relate to deppression in many ways, hot rhymes and wordplay
return the favor please
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=242058
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I felt that shit every line was ill keep doin ya thing
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that was ight... but i wasnt really feeling it cuz its more like poerty than hip-hop but no doubt good shit son
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This piece was real average and could use more to it...the concept of it was good but you didn't have enough to fill it...Your piece was decent but it was really short and came to an abrupt stop...you really need to start writing more than this making your OM's at least 20-30 lines...AT THE LEAST!!....Keep up the good work tho and I'll comment on more of your OM's in the future...keep it up...
-Nash
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not bad, felt your topic, flow was alright but coudl have been a little more smooth. Me myself i think there are two tuypes of depression, the type that cant be cured then the tuype that can. Sometimes ppl are depressed because they cant help it, just a chemical imbalance in the brain, and others get depressed because of shit that just happens. Like me, I was depressed, not the type that can be fixed, just cuz shit was going poorl yin my life, but i fixed that shit right up.
anyways nice drop keep doin this
