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my rhymes are...
my rhymes are...
...iller than terry shiava bustin out 100 bars
...sicker than rosanne barr knittin a scarf made of sars
...shocked as ellen degeneras when discovering she was from mars(gay joke)
...bout as ethical as hitler casted in "the passion" as the main part
...more chaotic than rosie o donnel when the zoo announces feeding
...true as bush and regan carpoolin to a white supremecy meetin
...brutal as the recorded tape of the rodney king beatin
...impossible as the children of the atom beefin
...no less than perfect but more than simply underestimated
...rawer than pussy left untouched and unmasterbated
...eerie as lil kim and william hung startin a relationship datin
...colder than antifreeze dropped on icy canadian pavement
...labored on, like overseas where kids stich up nikes at age 5
...the rush of a rollercoaster ride after numerous coke lines
...never fronted, like weed bought in nickles and dimes
...spit way ahead of its time due to a master theisis of a mind
...hostile, like the media towards any forward progression
...real enough to teach mc's how to spot lyrical intervention
...spit straight, no crooked bars under suspection
cuz my rhymes are...
...a double edged musical weapon
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this drop was ill
nice drop good flow str8 structure
could of been better
7/10
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This was decent but i just wasnt feeling the flow there was no multies in the piece. The one syllabe bar is too old now you need to mix in some multies and internals to your pieces to make them more complex. I liked the comparisons you made some of them were funny but some of them were weak. Your vocab was decent but you didnt really need a big vocab for a piece like this. Your imagery was ok but i think there was just nothing attention grabbing in the piece. A couple of funny lines which i can appreciate but nothing that made me crack up laughing. A good try but next time work on that flow and try and come up with some killer punches and metaphors then i think you will have some very good verses.
Return the feed on my new Om:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=240126
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thanks for the input dog ill work on my shit......
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You need to give proper feedback on the open mics you reply to. A line and a half isn't proper feedback. Update your links please.
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yo my bad ill get some other links
