Try Not To Smile.

Try Not To Smile.

The stones aroma felt damp, a cramped arch cocooned my arrival
Lived within a coma unfaithfully, will Christianity christen my revival?
Survival has been my father figure for years, I lived through the tears
Don’t see faith in my own father, how can I believe in one yet to appear
The service is near, the suns tip peaks through a window in the steeple
If this glass cost millions, smash it up and send fragments to starving people
I vision this fake as evil, upheaval progressions of blessings at birth
These infants don’t have a say in heaven, but whiteness hell here on earth
What is religion worth? Words fused for support, due to a lack of love
And why do we bow when we pray, if Gods listening from up above?
This myth isn’t enough, I scuff my shoe on a pew and turn in despair
In the rear of my vision catch an incision in a window of the Lords prayer

Our Father, who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.

Let me embrace this writing disgrace, heavens clearly not a place
If its here on earth, were fighting evil and Gods not showing his face
A Fathers meant to lead the race, but ours is hidden within a book
Watches the poor starve, but turns a blind eye on what the rich took
A crook, the last bar amazes, craziest words sent to our savior?
Not only does this pursue evil, but encourages us to return the favor.

And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power,
and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.

A false sensation, the biggest temptation is when you no it is a sin
So if God didn’t want us to be tempted, why create the feeling to begin?
I try to think within, close my eyes but my heart beats so hollow
Were trying to fight against evil in this kingdom with no one to follow
I swallow my out cries, and relies this visit wasn’t worth the while
Power and glory? I think of terrorism and just try not to smile.

Right then.

that was dope son

yup.

this was very sad and interesting to mind to to read. had strong feelins involved and the flow was decent in this piece. topic and title very decent, nad i enjoyed reading it because it had a nice point to get across, it was real and deep and i love drops like that. showed hella emotions

definately different. I feel the emotion though. Whether or not
I agree with the topic doesn't matter. It was a nicely written
piece. Felt the flow more at the begginning.

yeah this is pretty cool... uhm not sure about the long lines working all the way but i guess u held the flow with good rhyming skillls..
diddnt really like the prayer part being added in as it seemed to make it over rligious instead of tones of...
well written for sure and worded well if in a somewhat prosaic manner

all in all a dope pice

if you check my siggy yeah you'll see that i already covered this same of thought but perhaps in a more aggressive manner.. or just how i felt it at the time


check

How Can I Smile

in my siggy

pz

Yup.

different indeed, but with a good immagery i could picture the story you tryed telling, but i wasnt feeling some parts, but thats peronal .. the way its executeed was good.. nice vocab and story telling, opening stanza was the best to me, props fam

this was dope K., im glad you sent me this link. i enjoy when people question god/jesus/whatever your beliefs are. you braught such a dope structure, and way of writing into this piece. by asking rhetorical questions, the piece was just taken to another level. this was dope yo, keep doing it. this is another piece that should be recognized for somekind of reward.

fav. lines:
The service is near, the suns tip peaks through a window in the steeple
If this glass cost millions, smash it up and send fragments to starving people

A false sensation, the biggest temptation is when you no it is a sin
So if God didn’t want us to be tempted, why create the feeling to begin?

good work, stay up.

that was nice overall

notting to explain

thank you fam.

i dont want rewards for writting...i just wanna make people think.

oh shit......nicest drop Ive seen since Ive been back at RB.....nice......like others said....might not agree with parts....but I agree with some......topics been done but you took it and ran with it..........nice

to be honest i no people wont agree with it...thats why i write to make people think about shit and to stur up peoples heads...in my opinion if a piece does that it is well writtien.

Best Om ive read for months, im an atheist so my views on religion are a hell of a lot worse than this so i was really feeling the concept plus it was original which as you know is a rare fucking thing on OM. You was just speaking your mind just asking is there a god etc i think a lot of people ask thereselves that all the time espically the state some of us are in so i was really drawn into the piece. Your vocab and imagery matched perfectly with the concept, there was a lot of big words mixed in but you did it correctly unlike a lot of people that put big words in just for the sake of it. The imagery was dark and very descriptive obviously that came through the most to me obviously there was a lot of emotion in the words cause you was really into the concept.
And the line about bowing down to god was dope. I cant really criticise this piece maybe mix in some multies to help the flow but fuck it i dont think your pieces really need it. Im an arrogant bastard so you should be suprised at how dope i though this was lol.

Can you leave some feed on my last Om id appreciate some feed off someone who knows what there talking about, its my last Om im leaving the site 2moro so id like some feed off at least one dope writer, its not a deep piece just a punchline metaphor type verse.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=236625