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The Devil's Advocate
i've been sent down six feet, and arrived in death's cell
drownin my sorrows in hell like the bottom of a well
evil n wretchedness wrongfully fulfillin my conscience
in Satin's possession of arrest without consequence
at the feet of the devil-- an opted path of laughter
with the aftermath of that known on earth's lowest level
i've nailed in the coffin, idolizing the wrong side
guidin myself to death, i've picked sin up like high tide
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I bow to my master as he conveys lie n deceit
but what if the one hes really lyin to is me?
"ill give you all power, you'll be considered a king"
at that statement the heaven's fell, clippin each angel's wings
and they fell down to the pit, burnin in hell for this shit
i brought down all good with this deadly crime i've commit
a collab with all evil leavin a hopeless humanity
stabbin people's backs like protestants with insanity
unable to manage the nature halving earth by its equator
with hell's dictator tyrannically controllin earth's creator
breakin covenants, floodin the world without survival
leavin the Bible a gimmick......a failure of revival
i ended mortality with seven whole days gone wasted
i faced nature in the eye, now theres no way to replace it
All evil glared at me, containing such a grimace grin
Satin betrayed me, left me releasin anger for no reason
my patience had grown thin as i realized what he did
i fell to my knees askin God for forgiveness of my sins
but each word expressed spoke with an uncommon tongue
God scolded me pumping too much blood within my lungs
"do you see what you've done?"God spoke in a dark tone
but my mind was blank and all realizations were unknown
one last gasping breath, i looked back upon my death
i was the devil's advocate as i let go of what was left
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now stuck in a black hole, with no memories or thoughts
my conscience must've up n left as my body began to rot
why fight for the bad side?my life was darker than midnight
demonic n suicidally providing a living hell without incite
was this right?could this be?lyin on earth's floor so lonely
a soul-less corpse so bony my own mind had thrown me
i would've gone through this forever, but my vision began changing
i got up n left my classroom, my endless dream left me awakening
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haha didnt expect it to be a dream, you did this well though, i got into it and then boom it never happend. I like that, although it all being a dream is pretty cliche, but yea you had some good lines here and there, the flow was good, and you did pretty well overall. good shit man, kept me reading, keep dropping.
get at this for me man.
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=233249
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This was a good piece the best ive read for a week.
I like these types of pieces, youve got story telling skills but that aint enough sometimes, but lucklily youve got a nice vocab and you used it well you came up with some real nice imagery which really impressed(And Thats Difficult).
It was a dark piece and thats my style so i really felt your thoughts and feelings in this piece, the emotion came through to me unlike a lot of the shit thats dropped in OM. The only thing i will criticise is the flow, Hopefully you know what flow is and you can work on it and then you can add some multies into your verses and make them just a little bit more complex.
Good piece son, nice to know theres other good writers in OM.
Return the feed please(Not my dopest shit but still nice)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=234259
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uppin again...please dont sleep on this
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i liked the second rhymes the structure was ok nice n long
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upp...don't sleep on this please..leave links after
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pretty nice opening, i thought that all flowed well, i think the last line of the opening stanza would roll better as-
guidin myself to death i've picked up sin like high tide
minor neway
i like the way you worked the internal rhymes on point thats my style too it keeps the flow hot!
good content kept me intyerested all the way home...apart from i wasnt completely pleased with the ending stanza as such, i think it couldve been worked on a lil more...
s'all good tho this is my typer ish right here.. much dopeness on display fosho
check out my link wit sum feed yo
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=234988
pz
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thanks for the feed everyone...uppin this
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Hey, this was a gr8 piece... i loved the use of multis and the structure was flawless i thought. The flow was basically perfected, and the twist at the end to make yourself wake up from a dream was amazing, i've seen people write about "dream topics"....but none to what you've shown.. i thought this was a great topic for you to make and the rhyming was tight, the imagery was well made...and this kept me interested throughout this whole dope drop. Keep droppin more homie, n culd ya leave sum feed on this link, thanx
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...10#post3205010
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Dude,,,, I fukin hate rap but that shit was fuckin sick.
Keep on rapping about that stuff.
IT WAS FUCKIN GNARLY
