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I've Gotta Make It
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Deeply Written Lyrics I Made Created My Exposure,
Insight On Life, Harsh Critics Demanded Emotion.
So I Started From Scratch And Created A Strategy,
Enclosed Myself In Skill And Turned It To Fantasy.
Every Word I Write Increases With More To Say,
Crated My Own Dream And Now It’s Slipping Away.
Less Sleep And More Stress Made My Mind Vindictive,
But To No Avail, Shattered Hopes Was All That I Pictured.
Started Second Guessing My Talent, Support Was A Must,
To Write Rhymes To Perfection, There’s No Need To Rush.
So I Slowed Down......... Took A Breath And Looked Back,
Everyone Has A Beginning..... And That’s A True Fact.
Stared Blank With Nerves, As If A Fiendish Act Was Brewing
Pursuing Visions Of Rapping For Soundtracks Like In Movies
Time Is Passing With Every Letter That's Written On This Verse
Last Word............. Voice Your Opinions Or Never Be Heard.
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this piece was decent... liked the intro, n choice of vocab... imagery n concept were both nice.. u could've of made it longer would of liked to read more but overall this was a nice drop... good shit
return the favor http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=229158
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Yea, thanx man for the feed.
And ima get back at yours now k! *thumbs up*
leave a link pplz and ima get at yours after ya feed, thanx
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This had a "writter's block" piece feel to it, which is written when people can't think of a topic. I spotted internal rhyming though, which made it better. The end rhyming in the first stanza I wasn't feeling. You used mostly alliteration, I suppose thats your style. Myself I use it to supplement, not be the major factor in keeping a scheme going. Writing to a more creative topic would better show your skills.
Return the feedback on my friend's piece
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=224626
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haha, yea thanx man... i didnt have shit to write about, and u spotted it lol.... wellz its all good. thanx for tha feed.. your friends piece is hit up, UPPin This Piece pplz!
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Good drop.
The first two lines didn't really go to well.
But, You made up for it in the rest.
Tight drop overall.
Keep droppin.
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Your vocab seemed really forced...words rhyming together like back and fact...You had a lot of that shit in this peice...It sort of made it seem good because you did it repeditivly..but it came out pretty decent...The topic wasn't so good tho...you seemed a little off on your day...Keep up the good work tho...try out different structures and more vocab next time...Keep it up and you could get far...Nice peice...
Out ~1~
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There wasnt really any visual topic to this, but the rhyme scheme and vocab both good. Your flow was untouched, it didnt throw me off at all..
The last line was Pretty good, didnt link directly to what youd already said, but it created a link between it and the way your saying:
Deeply Written Lyrics I Made Created My Exposure,
Insight On Life, Harsh Critics Demanded Emotion.
Good overall, needed a topic though. Well done none the less.
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good intro man real start like this piece one of the best tonight
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rhymes flow structure all 9.5/10
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shirt drop, but i liked it, complexity is much better, nice to see you improving, flow and strucutre were tight, nicely layed out, could be a bit longer but w/e this was still pretty good drop,man, rhymes were mad cool, i liked them, keep it up and keep elevating
