Bleed the Good Fight...[SS Verse]

Only Bleed the Good Fight

Lurking in private nests, spy with soft and silent steps
Tip toe with boots soaked wet, a disguised and violent threat
Skins cringe to every step, bones ache to a sacred capture
A beautiful mind takes action, avoiding the mental fracture
A Suspenseful rapture, inhale the soft air packing my chest
Enemies aware to suspect, no time for slacking nor rest
Japs seen in the flesh, ammunition was equipped and given
Nuclear bombs in vision, enough weapons to decease all living
Stomach ringing, feet fatigued as an ankle twists on roots
Mud tracks squish and squirm as I step with swampy boots
Organic yet satanic pollute, a running pause for silence
A chaos theory of strikes, I beg for no security sirens
Reaching a peak of light, in night I sight this figure
A soldier roaming over, whiskey wrapped around his fingers
Blistered iris infects the pupils, whistled fire blows so brutal
Loud echoes of whispered chats distract and roam futile
A burst of soldiers bust, Jap’s secure with a boulder’s thrust
Searching for Americans through circles of golden dust
No need to combust, their lips kiss the dirt with fear
Camouflage aides the disguise, and too silent to hear
Looking with caution to peer, heart beats a million vessels
Mouth of mud as they nestle, bodies to much to wrestle
Eye black erased with sweat, face paint smudged and wet
Emotions run and fret; A perfect time for a cigarette
To far to regret, slither in dirt trails with the hurt and pale
In control to prevail, a keen sense from the soul not to fail
Invade with a grenade, screaming as I tend to fade
Not a nerve that felt afraid, a direct hit I sent and prayed
As the dust bloomed a sky was ruined with a clouded mushroom
Enclosing the area with disgusting fumes, it’s us doomed
A distant view of disappointment, a survival was seen
With a livid intention to dispense of every American dream
Before I could react, an attack was planned to kill
Bullets fired from a pistol, hitting my partner Phil
I screamed with devils hatred, saving a soldier is sacred
My vision was blundered; my friend was dead and wasted
Killed the enemy faceless, a punch to the teeth and cheek
Made him bleed till death, my inner rage was released
We’ve failed to concur, innocence is lonely in heaven
Dear soldier, I cry ten tears a night, sometimes eleven
You remain in my heart, never apart, always in sight
I Think of you every night
.
.
.
Only bleed the good fight

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=227620
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...55#post3070655

homie...........this was the greatest drop i have ever seen, this was so dope its doper than dope, this whole drop was tight!!!!!!!!! the rhymes were exellent and they worked well together to make each line make sense and make it all understandable and a smooth enjoyable read. flow and strucutre was incredible, even, smooth, and all good, topic was interesitng and creative, i liked the vocab and the visulaz i had while readin this....i liked the whole thing, with no doubt, overall 10/10**, spectacualr drop homie,keep it up!

very good flow and stucture to this one and i can see your elevating very fast man, you sure capture realization quick, good job man, very good story in this kept me reading nice imagery, but most off all the think that really captured me was your use of multiples really creative an everything. nice vocabulary through out the piece very good nice use of words as well, nothing really felt forced. good job, just a overall pretty good piece man, keep elevatin your probably better then me now and i can actually say that without getting mad haha cuz i dont care.

1

Actually... the rhyme scheme put me off...

Good content...

Not bad story and imagery..


But work on making things flow while spoken.....

Especially in the middle, the imagery stood out for me. I like how you got across where they were with "kiss the dirt" and "mouth of mud". The structure was fine, the rhyme scheme worked as a text piece; you switched it up well. The end was a solid way to close it, if the transition was sloppy, the effect wouldn't have been as strong. The description as a whole was nice, helped by good diction.
Please drop feed on my friend's piece
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=224626

upppp

Shit i thought this was mad nice, great concept piece.
The story was told well you kept it real consistent a lot of people lose the story half way when writing a piece like this but you kept it going.
The imagery was brilliaint mixed with some nice vocab, the flow was nice through most of the bars but i think if you added in a couple more multies it would of been a bit better, but fuck it this was just a really good piece.

Return the feed:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=226496

one word: dope

**picks jaw up off the floor**

Holy shagbunnies! The imagry was some of the best i've ever seen. And i've seen a LOT. The vocab was exactly right and the multis were pretty much flawless. I think it fell off (slightly) towards the end but considering the length of this piece and how little the quality dropped that's impressive as hell. The direction you took with the topic, the atmosphere you created with your words made this a fucking great read from start to finish.

Consider this nominated, Jesus Christ i'm impressed!

This was a good dope peice. i dunt come with any advice for elevation cuz thiz was dope. i liked the way you peiced together your verse your voice and direction was really bold and standout in the peice. i liked it alot and you had dope flowz. so return the favor to ya brotha and peep

i dunt wanna live thru it - by Mista Loc

damn the flow and rhyme scheme was dope as fuck, the imagery was sick throughout and you have a way with wording, you word shit perfectly, this is certainly the best piece I've seen ever on RB. damn. I cant believe your 14, its impossible for a 14 year old to write this, at least it is to me hahaa. But i enjoyed this piece, each line just came off smooth as fuck and the content and concept of this piece was just ILL overall. sick drop man.

hit this up for me man

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...31#post3091231

id appreciate some more feedback, mad old

what the fudge!