Live Or Die Pt.1

(verse)
I'd rather live instead of to die but thats not my choice so I'm gonna ride or die either way ima die and lose my life,
so god please don't take me away because i don't move far away into the heaven gates of your place,
but i was scared die one night because i was think about the war thats going on day and night,
but hey one good thing about going to heaven is i'll get to see eazy-e,tupac and big again in heaven,
but i wannna live till i'am old as dirt can u read the young jeezy trap or die t-shirt,
so i'm gonna stay trap and strap for this world and then i'll die this world let me dedicate that to all them beautiful girls all accross the world,
its just like tupac and big said in runin(dying to live) after they died they said
Why am I dying to live, if I'm just living to die,
so pleas god keep me a live
cause i want my family to live together forver and die together and be gone forever......

open mics
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=221058
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=221054
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=221049

start postin comments

the flow is kinder rollin loose.. with lines being a lil overstretched
theres no need to keep repeating pac n big names or spitting ruff ryder quotes. .."ride or Die"

i liked a couple of lines still tho .. that one wit the t-shirt

was decent b ut yo needa get the flo tite on point n shit

stay at it
pz

Tighten up your flow and throw in some more advanced vocab.
take more time with your work and just keep writing.
I believe that everyone can become a very good writer with practice,so keep at it.

Thanks guys. but keep postin people

come on people

i say it to everysingle thing you write because you dont listen....READ THE FUCKIN RULES!!!!!!!there above everybodies work.....there stickyed...go read them..and follow them..and elevate your flow...you dont try on anything you write.....if there werent so many newbies swarmin this site..no one would reply to your shit..and i would eventually stop...ELEVATE..and read tha rules...read tha rules....make sure you read tha rules

come on

I aint like it that much. It was about that you trying to live but you living to die.
Keep on wrting Homie it will get you better.