Kung Flow presents: Infection

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=219456

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=219607




Infection


7.30am, Secret Lab- Johnny 6-feet

William came bounding in to deliver the news
"We made the break through! Heres the memo, I'll give to it you."
The results of a virus to regrow dead cells
Was reason enough for us scientists to let our heads swell
We celebraite with cheap wine, although i feel sick
Someone dropped a test tube, before we could seal it
And although we didn't know it yet, and this concoction means well
The virus had infected us, and soon will unleash hell


10am, Church of St Paul- Spoken Deity

They came out of no where… they just came out of the blue
These things are monsters; they’re different from me and you
They’re all just like human sheep, mindless and robotic
The world was fine yesterday…now it’s bloodied and chaotic
war men have fought in the past were nothing compared to this
This is too much reality… like a 10 year old slitting his wrist
This inconceivable evil has infected my inside
The country is covered by the blood of my people
Fuck God…he isn’t here ; even under this church steeple
What was left of good was destroyed by corruptions erosion
God even say that death will take form when hell is over flowin’
This bite on my neck hurt to much to think… I’m goin
To tired to breathe...my life soon ends… death comes in my steed
The bite from my dead child planted a viral seed
Animalistic thoughts come over me like a million insect
But that’s death…and finally I take my last living breath


11am, City Streets- Johnny 6-feet

I stagger until a nearly collapse, press myself on a wall
Cough blood on the pavement, my health as it falls
I'm being chased by the monsters we unwittingly created
I can take this as payment for my deeds of hatred
I roll away as a rotten hand scapes my jacket
Gasping for air as i half run, half crawl from the casket
I know i havent got long, rehardless of the will in me
It's infected my capillaries, the virus is killing
I finally collapse, twist my knee hard with pain's spark
As the zombies surround me it goes blissfully dark

Loving this piece...

First of all because the topic you used is creative, I haven't seen it done on here before and it's always nice to read something different. The story you told was also so vivid, excellent imagery...it was as if you took the readers and put them right in the middle of it all you know. The emotion was strong as well, nicely expressed the thoughts running through the person's mind. Vocab was on point: not too basic, not too complex either. Flow was good, sometimes it was off but overall it was quite consistent. Both dropped nicely, there is not too much differences between both writing styles so the readers didn't have to adjust drastically.

Nice piece...

This was so damn beautiful I loved it man. Keep this going.

i diddnt like the rhymes in the first two lines in all verses just a lil too basic for kicking off a verse

i like the last verse best... of course verse two had sum nice parts as well but cudda done with more scenery

all in all the piece was too short and seemed only like the begining of a story

cool write like the format n all

one

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Miss_Jess

First of all because the topic you used is creative, I haven't seen it done on here before and it's always nice to read something different.

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???how???this is the story line for every resident evil game and movie made...but nice piece though.....tha topic...havent seen it done here i dont think...but i have seen it....imagery was tight...first verse started off a little slow for tha first bar and a half...then it picked up real quick.....wordplay and vocab...tight...it had complexity and a tight rhyme scheme...alll in all very nice outtake on this topic...keep droppin tha hottness.~1~

thank you all... thank you john... im ready for my next topic at any time

This Piece Was DOPE.....

The topic was a dope idea and you both rapped on point made it story like i felt johnny created more of a picture than spoken but you both came iLL a nice use of vocab and imagery, johnny had a good use of multies, spoken you should use multies in yah pieces makes it more worth reading:)

anyway all in all i feel this piece was good, i took too long to write my verse LoL

Nice Drop

PaRa

both of u guys flow so well its sorta freakish lol, but this ahd great imagery I liked the multies a lot and it seemed like such a great story to tell. I think u coulda went more witht ehending cuz like ur talking about a chemical then monsters and then being surrounded by Shadows..it was pretty confusing man lol. But other than that I give this an 9/10 for it flowing so well and jsut great imagery..keep writing guys..and hit my Om's with some feed in my sig please

uppin

This is dope in a can. You guys flowed awsomely, and the structure and all that was perfect. I also enjoyed reading it. Good job on this, this shows how collabs are supposed to go.

uppin

That was hot. Great job at tellin the story and great vocab. The flow went well and both of u had a good concept. Keep goin at it and I liked the whole suspense thing with the virus. Great job.