Untitled

I wrote this to that Game Beat #9 (forgot the name of it)

Try the kid whether mics-or-the-steal
I'm gon make you feel pussy like dykes-when-I-kill
cause I can light-up-ya-grill
like them charcoal bricks
and have you breathin harder in bed than hardcore flix
look each bar bore tricks, and if I slang it twice
it'll be 2x the attitude 2x the price
I got 2x ya wife cause I double my standards
so even if she's more than enough for you I still couldn't stand-her
so what is the plan-bra, you gon ease into the game
I'm blowin it up, fans in cuff, grew up and change my name
got enough to throw in change and still not slip off
you just gon be a childhood memory like them 2 from Criss-Cross

well...the rhymes were good, but you need to really improve your structure` flow too, you need to really make the flow smooth and esy to read, it was choppy and making it not easy to read, the title was terrible, untitled, you rapped about nuthin perticular, you need to choose a topic to rap about and support with your lines anf rhymes, overall this ok, keep elevating and keep dropin

My nigga what up, good shit nigga, what up with the callbo?

uh,

you needa improve your structure and work on your flow, I think the rhymes were pretty good, use better vocab. Also work on using multis I think that could improve a lot. The topic was just nothing, and I dont like that shit, ya u deffenitly a battler stick with battling till ya improve ur shit in open mic.

overall I'd say 7.1/10 work on ur shit nigga.

you had some nice rhymes but your structure and parts of your vocab messed this up for real. You need to fix up your structure make sure everyline is near enough the same length and up your vocab.

Plus you need to leave two links to post you gave decent feedback to or a mod will close this.

Closed.

Read the rules and figure out why yourself.