My life

i fixed it up so i hope yall feel it.......everything not intended 2 rhym.... jus feel me on this 1



I gotta mom an no pop, sista kno brotha,
time keep tickin i aint gettin no younga
so im getting olda, stukk up in dis war zone,
rizz a fukkin soldier, devils chillin on my sholder
my metal in my holster, ready 2 squeeze,
if u try 2 run mutha fukka hol seven of these
shid.... 5 years old was da man of da crib,
my pop got merked had 2 handle my biz
my had on a cig(cigerate), da 9mm jawn,
clip full of federals(hollow tips) turn u 2 a vegetable
yea,....it's gettin ruff out here,
but rizzo from da hood so i'm stukk out here,
aint kno luv out here, aint kno trust out here,
dat's why i'm hustlin, so i can get my fam out here
cuz niggaz strgglin, dey kill u 4 a buck out hear,
errthing from da muscle, aint no help out here
niggaz from da bottom,
rise from da bottom,
make it 2 da top an leave dey squad at da bottom
i grind cus i gotta
itz fukked up cuz my mom, is my mom an my father
a yungbuk....i was runnin wild as a ryda
2 get my respect,
niggaz acting all tuff then i put em 2 rest(my sig)
dey say u live by da sword,
u die by da sword,
point my 9 2 da sky, ima ryd till im gone
tell my squad not 2 moarn,
jus ryde on whoeva dat hit me,
im posted up wit my 7 against me(god's number)
from wherever you at 2 da city of philly
itz ya boi rizz holla put whoeva against me


Battles i left feed back in

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...16#post2879416

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=218850

I feel u on that don't got no pops niether
But elevate more and use some more wordplay
This waz more like poetry
Overal nice verse

thx.......yea it was more on sum.... jus feel me shyt.........not so much as a verse 4 niggz 2 b like oh nice punches or nothin............................................ ...........................thx.....uppin 4 more feedback

i definatley feel u homie...dats dat nas type shit mixed wit sum cass and game adn i loven dis line"
dey say u live by da sword,
u die by da sword,

point my 9 2 da sky, ima ryd till im gone
tell my squad not 2 moarn," dat shit went hard as a mutha fuka.... i have zero complaints...hit my open mic up too homie

uppin 4 feedback.........

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Needs more vocab.
I understand some people dont feel the vocab style,but if you add a bit more,it makes the verse appear more advanced and serious.Less slang would help it's image as well.
You need some wordplay,metaphors...ya know,elevate.

ok...... uppin 4 feedbck

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i feel u hommie.............like ez said it was more like poetry but when it come to lyrics and vocab and shit???? u dont need it on this one u was jus bein real and i feel u......... uppin for my dawg!!!

the line formation seemed like a battle style, anywayz , rhymes were good, strucutre was TERRIBLE, no dissrespect but it was bad same with flow, topic was kool, enjoyable to read, good job and keep it up, and keep droppin, have a goood day :)

-Skribble

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