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Dissapearing Clouds
Dissapearing Clouds
A cloaked man, provoked but not convinced with his status
Sauntered up the stratosphere and unearthed an apparatus
The clouds revealed a lattice where business was transacted
They protracted and impacted with extracted distractions
And were acted, not through reaction, but ample creation
A sanctioned station; secluded but not positively unknown
Sacred to many, a home…
………………..The clouds broke and a voice spoke alone
It intoned prone probing, coping with faithful assumption
The discussion spoken, entailed the man’s own consumption
The cloud’s second function, tipped precipitation on dead ground
The man awoke in his impound, drowning in his possessions
His dream had professed an impression; a new found obsession
He had nothing to question – just his mind’s expression was art
Concealed in the dark, sharks circled in as he pieced together an ark
Stark farce and gale force winds exploded from above…
Like the wings of a dove, animals came in pairs with hiatus
The clouds had created death while the greatest embraced it
They repopulated, the storm changed the face of the land
The face of the man, was later buried in sand
Animals slandered the land, which a new man could soon perceive
*The clouds part*
So it came to be, God would develop a story with Adam and Eve.
Noah had a covenant agreed, but he forgot an ally to breed
And so you can see, the day that God invented greed.
*The sky darkens again*
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Damn, I'm seeing a lot of deep pieces here lately, and this is one of them. The vocab was killer, it flowed really well and it kept me reading all throughout. The ending was the icing on the cake. Definitely a hot one and keep elevatin.
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liked the font...structre was sweet.....flow was smooth...vocab was iight could be better.........topic was kool......rhymes were incredible...great job..keep it up...and keep droppin......i'm lookin forward to a future drop by you...... return the favor on the linkz in my sig below
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^ the links dont work.......
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more feedback please...................
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dont sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
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uppin again...................
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yo this was some real deep shit. Good job on diz. Nice use of vocab n nice multis. The flow was real good and yea da endin was quite perfect. Keep up da good work. I'll b readin ur stuff more often. Please rtf on my piece "On Lock"
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veteran feed?..........................
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pretty ill...i liked tha imagery...your vocab was tight...your piece had complexity...had some ill wordplay a tight rhyme scheme...and i felt tha emotion mos def...all in all ill piece...keep droppin tha hottness.~1~
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