Family Secret ft. Wise Mynd

RushMore - First
Wise Mynd - Second

http://tinypic.com/9jq1k5.gif

A lonesome september day, the wind surpassed the curtains
Flashbacks on those peaceful days crossed my mind for certain
Depression had overwhelmed me, family has now left
sons and daugters out of state, wifes peaceful in rest
these memories cringe my stomach, Im an elder flying solo
So in this state of depression i took out some family photos
Covered in tattered dust, the containments seemed ancient
no photos have been taken for years, and im way past patient
the first picture captured love, my sister debbie and me..
holding hands with our parents, a sad remembrance to see
But time moves on, and so i took a look to the next sight
an image containing my son and me, frolicking in the night
as these cerebral memorandas continue, my eyes weep of tears
i stand alone with a fractured heart, been this way for years
With the intention to close the book, i spot a last sighting
a picture folded in half, hidden from beneath the binding
what is this picture, that had to be so secret from all ?
i began to unravel the riddle, and my heart now stall

...I Begin to cry a thousand lies

A bloodcurdling vision, my dead wife with another man
i turned it over and on the back it was labeled "Stan"
I begin to think of profanity in the top of my head
Knowing what I would do if my wife wasn’t dead
The man had blonde hair and seemed to be merry
And the Camera made my wifes eyes look cherry
To think my own family was keeping this from me
Always Pondered; who put the name stan in that tree
So amazed in my angryness I begin to think of the past
Would things be different if her heart beats woulda lasted
I would find out about this and at night I would Cut her
I turn the page to see a blonde hair man in front of shutters
And As I see this man my head gets even more cluttered
I loved this woman with all my heart and life I muttered
Turning the pages my eyes against the page began to stutter
Now that I think about it….Stan was my little brother

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=215121

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=214444&page=1

another link

uppp

Fuck, yo this sad gettin' slept on.

Fire, im nominating this.

Whole story was pure. It kept me guessing to the end, w/ lines that were qotable, One the best lines I seen in awhile right here.

The man had blonde hair and seemed to be merry
And the Camera made my wifes eyes look cherry

Somthin about that, ^ deep.

A lonesome september day, the wind surpassed the curtains
Flashbacks on those peaceful days crossed my mind for certain

A+ imagry here, felt the wind.

Yo Rush I really liked your verse, Straight fire.. perfect intro.. really feelin' it, nothin to elevate on that verse, its clean.

Wise Mynd- Verse was an excellent outro. I loved the twist, cause it was witty. Keep this shit up both you, n stay up.

Pz.

Dope boys.

Dope collab, Like makeshyft said this had me guessing all the way.
A very well written collab.

Reppin well.

this is whats up yo.. nice metaphors and vocab. Nice topic and nice way to stay consistent wit your lnes.. keep bringing it and ill keep reading and keep responding... be easy

kost-your flow at the beggining was nice but it kind of fell off a bit..your part was pretty good..you didn't try to hard to have "vocab" as people call it

these memories cringe my stomach, Im an elder flying solo
So in this state of depression i took out some family photos

^i was feelin those lines

wise mynd- your first 4 lines weren't very good..you had good imagery..you can work on flow a little more though..i liked your closer bar.

overall pretty good drop

Thanks guys, Uppen

upppp

list in order what i noticed

*strucutre was amazing
*flow obviously was good too
*topic was kool...
supported the title well
*rhymes were great
*overall 8.5/10 nice job

return the favor
V linkz in my sig

Bounce.

Yo guys this shit was straight fire from both of you... Wise I like the structure you posted in it was real nice and I like it better then alot of your other stuff... Wise your vocab was straight and your flow was real nice... I enjoyed every bit... Denill you did another dope verse... I loved your imagery and flow... Its good to see what EC will be putting out...

this was dope on both ends...
I felt emotion on each end and i felt the imagry.... Just amazing... You went in an awesome direction with the topic which to me, adds a certain 'intelligence' to the piece. I honestly think you guys are some of the dopest writers on RB. This deserves to be in the HALL OF FAME..
It really is well done in ever way. structure, wordplay, imagry... there wasnt any thing weak in this piece... great job...

Id love a tid bit on my OM... thx

good and creative topic ith amazing structure N flow
the rhymes were nice with good vocab and wording
all together nice piece 9/10