Wrongful Conviction

part for a collab, written a while back, was no long thing,

i had the second half of the collab, here it is:

footsteps resonate, approachin his door
he doesn’t have a single tear left to expose anymore
Hes thrown on the floor, his whole body bruised
Hurt that nobody knew, that his story was true
An innocent man now being dragged from his cell
Knowing In less than an hour heel meet the blackness of hell
Wishing he’d ran from the jail, prays for a gift from above
Contemplates whether his wife and kid have shifted their love
This shit aint enough, they arrive at the death chamber
Hes Almost begging for the moment when he’ll be left painless
his arrests shameless, wishes the feds were straight
or investigation systems of the corrupt Texas state
minds left his state, and now they’re strapping him up
a last wave of sadness cos whats happened just sucks
its like theyre havin some fun, I mean they do this all the time
mistreat and beat people discreetly before they die
was he born to die? They’re preparing the syringe
overwhelming desires to survive are tearing at his limbs
a mans about to die all because people take wrong facts
his darkening mind swivels as the needle makes contact
He starts twitching crazy like a tree in a storm
The fit hits and splits him, his screaming adjourns
His feelings deform, sounds come quietly now
misty signals from him wonder if this is what dyings about
Hes left critically hoping, feels like his physicals smoking
A mind cynically broken cos now the synergy’s spoken
Hearts energy slows an’ its farewell to a poor soldier
The image of his wife and child go, its all over….

yo b, that was pretty tight ill type flow, the story was ill tight too man,
the description of the whole piece was totally sick b, i enjoyed that shit very much,
the whole shabangabang i enjoyed it man. the flow was pretty dece. the vocab shit was amazing yo, i definitly wanna here more from you man

pretty dope....you had a real ill rhyme scheme....your piece flowed very nicely....you vocab was tight...your imagery was there...you could have elaborated more but it was still pretty tight.....i really felt your piece man..keep droppin tha hottness.~1~

cheers guys, appreciate the feedback

upping for some more

this piece was dope, everythings on point i was really into the story good stuff man keep it up

cheers man...

upping for some more feedback please

uppety

sickkk mann, whole fing was ill. The flow was on point, wrdplay was nice and multis and that were sick.

nice drop man, keep droppin :D

cheers man...

see your from the UK aswell

yo this was hot man the way u described every detail man alls dat i can say is dat this shit was hot good job

nice flow and multis. It made me want to read it all the way through. It good imagry. I could picture it in my head really well. Internal rhyming could give this an edge and make it better. Keep elevating and writing.

cool...

uppety

anyone else want to leave crit on this?...........