Cancerous Pt.2...the Ending...

Hope held together weldin,see her self differently....
no feelin sickly,needles prickly,not growin malignantly....
she feels better and high in tha sky,like aviation....
utter amaciation,shows dedication,healed wit radiation....
hair growth surgery may have reconstructive purposes....
tha feel of worthlessness,lifes better than large purchases....
strivin to find her inner beauty,always was a winner usualy....
now and then,she says tha men,there always usin me.....
confusin me with helpless little bitches,kemo effects are vicious....
so many lists of wishes,feastin on fine dishes,wine kisses....
kids christmas,and hopefully graduation,sorry i had you waitin....
teasin my mind with lyrical masterbation,im glad your ass is paitient....
many other things i wanna see before i die,kids grow up in view of eyes....
this girl is sick, but never spewed despise,confused and high....
her medication leaves a used diguise,expressions glued to eyes....
her life has changed,shes consumed in stress,weights press her chest....
tha feelin cause her sickness to agress,and not repress....
her brain digested,now brain dead i guess,her feelins are left....
they know to pull tha plug,so she doesnt suffer,no gettin tougher...
cancer travels upwards,from her basement to her cupboards....
turn off tha support so she can go in peace,atleast when she deceased....
her disease will just retreat,shell defeat and then shell be complete.

yo i jus read the first part before this that shit dope, kept me hangin on too, aint know what was gonna happen, and i feel you on the topic, so, i can relate to you. endin of the second part was amazing, and it was a more personal tone and comfortable speakin tone through out the whole thing, great shit dawg, ima read your shit more, take care man, -respect-

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...59#post2779259


http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=212990

thanks man i appreciate it.~1~

uppin this.~1~

uppin...never seen so many people sleep on shit in my past five years under four different aliases on this site.~1`

uppin for some critique on the ending

this was def hott...i can tell you know what your doing here...the only thing i wasnt feeling about it was the vocab...i understood it and yes you did use it well but you also did it unneccessarily...so it sorta took away from the peice because then it seemed like your multies were forced....keep workin on those too..NX

yeah i agree with noch u def no what u r doin. this peice was way hot and the vocab was off the chain. usually when see long mics like this i just skim through it but the first part of this kept me hangin on till the end. good job.

thanks for tha replies....uppin.~1~

uppin this piece again.~1~

This was an excellent piece. Love the emotions, descriptions and imagery throughout this piece.

hair growth surgery may have reconstructive purposes....
tha feel of worthlessness,lifes better than large purchases....
strivin to find her inner beauty,always was a winner usualy....
now and then,she says tha men,there always usin me.....
confusin me with helpless little bitches,kemo effects are vicious....
so many lists of wishes,feastin on fine dishes,wine kisses....
kids christmas,and hopefully graduation,sorry i had you waitin....
teasin my mind with lyrical masterbation,im glad your ass is paitient....
many other things i wanna see before i die,kids grow up in view of eyes....
this girl is sick, but never spewed despise,confused and high....
her medication leaves a used diguise,expressions glued to eyes....

- I love this piece. Fuckin great work.

Excellent piece man. Keep it up. Peace.

good flow...imagery was kew...coulda been a lil deeper...but you put it together nyce....multis were kew...topic was good....never seen one lyke this...yu def know how to do what yu...hit me up for a collab sumtime....



Hope held together weldin,see her self differently....
no feelin sickly,needles prickly,not growin malignantly....
she feels better and high in tha sky,like aviation....
utter amaciation,shows dedication,healed wit radiation....
hair growth surgery may have reconstructive purposes....
tha feel of worthlessness,lifes better than large purchases....

^nycely put.....

This was a good storyline but I think you messed it up... Because your multies and flow was just to much and the rhyme scheme was crazy but its not enjoyable when shit comes out like that you feel me...

thanks..and not really i thought it was ill....everybody has an opinion...thanks for tha replies.~1~