Broken Meditation

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=210136

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=210091


I wrote this after watching 'Shogun Assassin' for the first time. Its a seriously dope movie.

Broken Meditation

In deep meditation, a figure sits on a hill
A trance like sleep medication, but this is spiritual skill
A blade rests by his side, old but still flawless
He tries to reach a state of calm in his life that's lawless
Rejected by his clan, no longer protected by the man
Being pursued by tireless armies trying to dissect him where he stands
Some call him 'lone wolf' others a 'wandering ghost'
His travels would leave gypies lagging, he ricochets between coasts

The snap of a twig breaks his trance, he leaps to a stance
Throws a glance to his surroundings: "Does the reaper advance?"
Another man breaks his cover, mouth flecked with foam
Madness dancing in his eyes, the light reflects the chrome
Swords clash in a blur of violence and curse words
The hatred between adversaries is big enough to birth worlds
The ambusher sags, blood gushes from an open wound
He wasn't quick enough, he promised vegence but he spoke too soon
Wolf seathes his weapon as his opponent falls, bloody and broken
Even as he dies he whispers "You'll never escape the shogun!"

NICE........
ya flow and complexity was on point ya vocab was above par n the fact that u were so descriptive made it worth the read i must say it was short but sweet ill be waiting for new ish fam

pretty tight....original concept and creative...therefor theres some big points for that.....nice vocab and complexity....rhyme scheme was aiight..your structure was a little stretched but it wasnt that bad...keep droppin and elevatin.~1`

The rhyming and vocab for this was solid. One of the strengths of the piece was the description. You created good action in the second half. It's nice to see that something inspired you to write. This had the type of plotline, where you could go further in depth with the character's life and emotions, to give the story more background. The imagery was there, since you went into detail with the action.

Cheers for the feedback guys. Uppin^

I Vote He Be Banned.

Nice Drop By The Way, I Liked Your Style And Imagery
Maybe We Could Do A Collab Sometime I Have A Feeling It Would Be Dope

Brilliant Topic, Sumthin I Havent Seen Yet, And Backed Up With 'Clear As Crystal' Imagery... Gud Wordplay Especially This:
'In deep meditation, a figure sits on a hill
A trance like sleep medication, but this is spiritual skill'
That was also a gud opener...
Flow was perfect and rhyme scheme was gud as well...
The Weakest Point From What I Saw Was Vocab, Add In Sum Gud Words And You'll Be Hot As Fuck...
Great Work

that was some tight shit i liked it you vocab and creativity was going good together nice drop keep it up

Good Topic Man, The FLow Came Out Nice, Vocabulary Was Very Good Wordplay Decent Emotion Nice Imagery Was Cool, This Was A Very Good Piece Man The Story Line Was Okay But Structure Was A Little Bit Iffy Man, Over All Piece Was Very Nice Man, Hope To See More From You Soon Yo

Rhyme Scheme Hmm Questionable But Chea Man Rhyme In Here Was Solid, I Think You Can Add Alot More Imagery Though And More Emotion To The Piece Good Adding More Feed Man Weerd