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Trouble
(chorus x2)
I am in trouble
your in trouble
we're all in trouble
and i dont know why
all i know is that i dont wanna die
(verse 1)
it all started when me and this guy had an agreement
i made this agreement after my degree is sent
i broke the deal.. guy got arrested and broke out...
the man is after me... i am in trouble.. im movin south
the guy was mad at me esacped from the precint
the guy broke out of there for a good reason
i'm dead i told ma homie... he agrees
he told me to go get the police
everyone against the crazy guy
and i'm the only one who knows why
trouble is garanteed to happen
i'm alive cuz i'm here rappin
Trouble... this dude is angrey
he's like " why did you have to damn me"
Trouble is all sense in the future
the guy was gonna kill ma girl(me) "dont shoot her"
(chorus x 2)
I am in trouble
your in trouble
we're all in trouble
and i dont know why
all i know is that i dont wanna die
(verse 2)
if i die.. ma homie will learn from mistakes
he got fucked... he moved to 6 different estates
he got shot 3 times...., alot of intakes
when he gets punched he alwayz fakes.....
fakes bein hurt.. rips his own shirt
he finds a girl and he starts to flirt
troublke for him... trouble for me
no matter what.... he is alwayz my homie
all i know is that he's a true friend of me
and the guy after me is my enemy
trouble..... oh my god... it's true
if you think i'm gonna lose.. fuck you
if you touch me... i will seriously sue
i win thsi battle... all the way
i am stromg is all i got to say
(chorus x 2)
I am in trouble
your in trouble
we're all in trouble
and i dont know why
all i know is that i dont wanna die
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good rap keep elevatin
use more multies and work on the chorus'
7.3/10
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hey homie....... the drop was sweet!!!!!!........ the rhymes were very good and the flow was smooth...the strucutre was good.. could be better but this was kool.... keep it up... good job and keep elevating........ i would like to see another one by you.. :)
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the rhymes for this were pretty good man...... this seemed a lil dealin and breakin the deal gangster style story drop in a way.... thats really kool and creative...... this lacked imaginary and the flow was good... the strucutre was also good as well... the topic was interesting and different.... keep it up... i hope to see another one by you homie......:) overall 8/10.. the chorus was alright but it was still kool...
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yeah... this hit... good theme to it, i gave you 9/10.... i liked it B you should let me see somethin else you got doe... good job on it
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this wasnt bad at all...........i liked the chorus it was pretty kool to me.... the rhymes were hot and the whole peice was damn dope........ the flow was nice....the strucutre was pretty good..... i liked this... the topic was interesting and good job...... keep it up.... :)
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I wasn't feeling the chorus. In the first verse, your lines got shorter as it progressed, this may freshen up the audio, if it's a change of flow. The word choice could have been better in that verse, try not to sound repetitive, especially in consecutive lines. The ending was alright for the first verse. The second one had better structure, and the charcter you described was pretty interesting, you went into good detail about him, got your message across. Work on a more complex rhyme scheme.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=205750
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hey sup?.............................i liked this is wuz very good................it had great flow..................good rhymes and tha structure wuz good..................i thot this rap wuz very interesting and easy to read.............................................. ..................
keep it up skribble i'd like to read more of ur raps...................................keep uppin...
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I aint really feelin this much either... It was way to simplistic and the structure was kinda bad. I aint here to hate, only to give constructive critism... But I think a better topic would have helped, and maybe telling stories just aint your strong point, keep elevatine hommie...
( plz return the favor and peep "How 'Bout You" in my sig )
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i liked the rimes but honestly i didnt like the chorus other than that its all good b
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dont take dis shit badly but i wasnt feelin da chorus homie srry, da verses was pretty sick though i like it, keep spittin fire.
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Wuddup kid! I thought that the imagery could have been better. YOu stayed on the topic but could of used more multis. I like basic vocab! The topic can be complex and the wordplay will still be effective using basic language. Chorus I didn't like at all and the structure was ok but could be better! We all could be better - thats just human!
Peace & Hip Hop
