Open Your Ears UP

I get explosive after i swallow grenades
with a style more sick than an alchoholic with aids
armed with a blade, stocked up and ready to shave
any emcee who dares to cross me ends with a fade
cause i'll slice you arms at and angle with your tighs
dismantle you eyes after my verbs strangle your vibe
stand on your side, repected by all, feared by none
hear me son, cause respect dont come with gun
but if it does, i'll hope on a bus, bring the buzz on
appear on your freshly cut lawn with guns drawn
and another pair in both of my pant pockets
a switch blade with still aids and a hand rocket
ready to twist your hands faster than the one on your clock is
cause once i'm aimin' at you, it's done, you can't stop it

Hook
PT. 1 x3
i'm unstopable, invinsible, a giant
stoppin' over anyone who decides to be undefiant
after 3rd time [so!!!!!...]
Pt. 2 x1
open your ears up and listen
cause if you don't, i'll stand with two machetes in your kitchen

For those who love to tell this and tell that
think again, cause the day i die, all hell's sent back
it's madik the still rap head bringin' danger and ruckus
with rhymes that never bend, so no way that you could fuck this
but don't under estimate, i'll bring the heaven gates
to you door with on line and make body and soul seperate
see i'm satan but i never had the balls to admit
the reason my rhymes ready to crunch they almost naw off my lips
jump off my dick and get ready to shift, heavy with gifts
leave a box at your door that'll blow off your skull and your ribs
cause i'm still madik, skill pattern, that kills standard
emcees that stand on stage and hope to get real pampered
but i'm here to bruise and kill, who's is ill, newbies feel
the power of my rhymes like a liver who's new to steel

Hook
PT. 1 x3
i'm unstopable, invinsible, a giant
stoppin' over anyone who decides to be undefiant
after 3rd time [so!!!!!...]
Pt. 2 x1
open your ears up and listen
cause if you don't, i'll stand with two machetes in your kitchen

i'll drop my links soon, i've given feedback to almost everyone.

i liked ur first verse a lot more than ya second one...the flow and the lyrics were juss set up a lot better in my opinion...

Quote:

---

I get explosive after i swallow grenades
with a style more sick than an alchoholic with aids
armed with a blade, stocked up and ready to shave

---

my favorite section

You need to post two links, to two OMs you left decent feedback on, or this gets closed, thanks.

Gud rhyme there dawg, but I agree with duzt, your 2nd verse had a lot more imagery. Example:
'cause i'll slice you arms at and angle with your tighs
dismantle you eyes after my verbs strangle your vibe'

Your wordplay iz gud, enuff similies ('I get explosive after i swallow grenades/
with a style more sick than an alchoholic with aids') metas and mulits for my liking.

One thing I wud say is your vocab... Although ur rhyming structure was sick there, you could improve it by adding in some better words cuz u got all the basics well and truly nailed. Mind you, there were sum well rhymed and clever words in there but it still needs improvement. Everything else I didnt mention is fine (flow, easy-to-read etc.), and one more thing:They were some gud intro lines, that shit will attract attention.
Nice job.

yyoo i liked this it was hot....i agree wit my man that the first verse was better than the 2nd but overall it was def. good...the flow was nice along with the structure and scheme......also u threw in some sick metaphors which was good...overall i give it 7.5/10 keep it up

thanks everyone...i'll take the advice dawg...

this was aiight i guess. kinda reminded me of somethin eminem would drop, for instance:

appear on your freshly cut lawn with guns drawn

in rock bottom eminem said.. "i'm runnin up on someone's lawn with guns drawn"

but i dunno, it just didn't seem very creative or original. i liked this section though:

I get explosive after i swallow grenades
with a style more sick than an alchoholic with aids
armed with a blade, stocked up and ready to shave
any emcee who dares to cross me ends with a fade

though once again, it did seem like somethin eminem woulda dropped a while back. coulda polished the flow a little more imo. for example:

it's madik the still rap head bringin' danger and ruckus
with rhymes that never bend, so no way that you could fuck this

if you had taken out "that" in the second line after "way", the syllable count woulda been on. it wasn't a bad piece overall, just didn't stand out or nothin.

anyway, yeah.. keep writing and elevating. peace.

No links.

Closed.