The Morning After

Links:

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=199395

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=199536



Yes, i'm hungover. :uptight: And I wrote this just now off the top.

A blinding white light marks the beginning of pain
My eyes open, there's an ache which is killing my brain
But for a second, there's a feeling of deep emptyness
A loss of memory, eventually this will lead to stress
Who the fuck? There's someone here laying next to me
I'm not a religious man but i'm praying specially
That we a) used contraception or she's b) on the pill
I lucked out, she's a looker, to have her once was ill

Ahhhhh, damn my throat is dry, but there's a tide of nausea
My clothes smell of smoke of whisky, a hateful reward for ya
A fragment of memory surfaces, christ, i've got to go
Did i really bet i could drain 5 tequila shots in a row?
And what was... oh jesus, did i dance on the table?
Did i really say that chat up line or was that a fable?
Is that a handprint across my face? Lipstick on my collar?
Lipstick on my boxers, ha, and my dick that got swallered?
Is that puke on my jeans, or just some cocktail spilledge?
Its not 6, admit it, you splashed that hot chick, she's livid
I'm interrupted by the lady, she open her eyes in the gloom
Just as it finally hits me, i don't recgonise this room
She sits up, groans and stares at me boldly
With an expresion on her face like she doesn't even know me
She opens her mouth to scream, but i'm out of the scene
With my clothes under one arm, pretending it was a dream

Jonny i was feeling this deeply i can relate to this piece! Your structure was nice as always your rhymes were fucking dope kurz! You expressed your shit well in yo rhymes i could feel what u was talking about! I hope u dont really smell of smoke and whisky lol! Nice piece

Nice drop and those hangovers suck lol. Anyways I thought it was a good piece. The structure was good as was the flow. Vocab was pretty good, a little simple in a few spots, yet I don't think it did anything to take away from the piece. A few of the lines seemed a little forced but that's about it. Content was good and stayed on point as your story unfolded. Also had some nice imagery as I could picture everything happening. Overall a nice drop. Keep up the good work and keep dropping.

really nice topic... lol... real imaginative and the voab was really good and it fit the topic/title..... the flow was really good too... the structure was real good also... i cant really se anything wrong wit this drop... good drop.... keep it up.... great rhymes and the overall i think is 9/10!! have a good day and keep elevating

Anybody who can wreck about a hangover while being hung over. Hey, what more can I say. I've woke up next to a couple "Why the hell are you still heres" in my day. Appreciate the feedback to In the Club, too. I'm feeling your whole structure. Line that stood out to me:

Who the fuck? There's someone here laying next to me
I'm not a religious man but i'm praying specially

If you got a hundred posts could you help me get these battles closed please? I'll return the favor when I reach 100.

yo this was def a hot peice...flow was good the whole way and rhymes were also pretty nice...the structure was decent. it was deep and like everyone else i could relate to it...keep it up 7/10

Paintin pictures man your paintin pictures. Its a nice drop but if its really off the top of your dome Its an exeptional drop. seemingly simplistic but with good vocab and a nice use of the language. keep doin ya thing man

vote my battle against knuckles
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=203978

This piece was very good. The structure was great, The flow was ok, and the vocab was ok too. I could imagine the whole thing in my head which is good since i hate reading these things and not understanding a word people are saying. So anyways great job, keep up the good work, and have a great day. I give this piece 8/10.