/\Hatred/\

Mornings seem useless with out a sun that glares//
Moaning is garbage with out a position that’s rare//
Unfair is the game of life I’m tired of playing//
What’s the actual meaning of life? That all I’m saying//
Shameless stupid suckers are the ones in charge//
Let me recharge don’t wanna slip these bars//
Stars have all the money but what about us//
We get shit… a night stick to the back and hand cuffs//
The worlds stuffed with no trust and politics of rust//
Now Imma quit this shit quick to the next topic//
Everyone talks about it…. but its hard to stop it//
These are my expressions with tension on to paper//
I have to jot them quick before they disappear like vapor//
Or I might decide to hid em fast like child labor//
My moms I might hate ‘er
….Couldn’t appreciate the son that god gave her//
I’m not trynna play her
Cant take anymore orders from her Im not a waitor//
Curse haters …they bite worse then alligators//

Listen….. comprehend and understand something//
The Boss is worth the cost but the “underman” is nothing//
Man… if we wanted to we could get locked up on demand//
The streets provided the essentials like survival tips//
The streets heat got dudes going holy reading bible strips//
Crips and bloods shelter together to stay alive and shit//
This why I spit to get the stress of my chest and reminisce//
If only evil could surrender this, clear the mist, and sharpen the bliss//
A real nigga would pull a trigger and blast fo me//
Real wankstas master the art of bullshitting and blasphemy//
This world is gonna end my friend and only the fit will survive//
Intelligence and street smart will get to far but the good sir will die//
Cuz thinking for others my brother aint to good at times//
If you listen closely you’ll hear hate in my rhymes// (whispers the word hate)
Life has taken my wife and developed the state of exhaustion//
A Knife seems the best way to rest and end this commotion//
Or maybe swallow a bomb and wait for the explosion//

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http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=200759

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... Feed Back needed on this one

Feed On this needed

i liked it
structure and flow wre decent
ur vocab was very good and u had multis in some places which made it better
u had emotion and a good topic
i enjoyed reading this good job

THanks guys leave links for me to drop Feed on.

Good Looking

this is a good piece and shouldn't get slept on. the topic was nice, the emotion was there and the structure was great, the odd multi helped the flow, the imagery was ok and the vocab could do with some work but you're definately getting good at writing man. keep elavating, keep posting and thanks for the rep.