-
Wannabe Fame
I mean every single little word that I splurge
So don't get mixed up cuz mixed feeling I do not deserve
little bitches that be hatin on me
just wait till the day I become famous and be on MTV
I got people be tellin me that I ain't got the stuff
that everytime I spit a verse they laugh "I've had enough"
people be seein me rappin whisperin "he ain't tough"
well why u whisperin motherfuckas, cuz I can get rough
I got more power than power rangers that fierce color blue
I go more crazy than Tommy Lee saw Pam Anderson nude
I'm so selfish and ignorant, but I don't mean to be rude
It's all these people who doubtin who put me into this mood
Everyday I go through life thinkin that this could be it
this could be the granddady of em all, could be the championship
but then I sign on, logg on, and in 5 minutes I'm pissed
I'm fuckin screamin "look at this, anotha mother fuckin diss"
I'm passed mad, I'm bout to pass out from the reaction I just had
lookin like some drunk teenage who had a fight with his dad
look down at my computer, at a smiley face? He's glad
that he got me mad, and all he did was call my piece bad
now thats sad, that I can't get so worked up over nothin
but it's because i'm really tryin thats the sad truth is I'm comin
to make a statement, tryin to get into this rap game
but all the people say the same, that I'm just a wanna be fame
-
-
-
that everytime I spit a verse they laugh "I've had enough"
people be seein me rappin whisperin "he ain't tough"
liked that .
I'm so selfish and ignorant, but I don't mean to be rude
yeh that was nice.
look down at my computer, at a smiley face? He's glad
that he got me mad, and all he did was call my piece bad
that was nice aswell bruv.
to make a statement, tryin to get into this rap game
but all the people say the same, that I'm just a wanna be fame
liked the finisher aswell .
yeh like the other guy sed ther were a few nice lines in here one thing i would say is make sure you rhyming words rhyme more sumtimes in you lines you cant identify the rhyming word nice piece thow stay up bruv -1- check for my post tomoz "the good days"
-
i thought this piece was tight,ill imagery,ill emotion,rhyme scheme was tight,good opener,i liked the ending,it had some metas,i thought it could use some more multis and maybe a little more complexity, structure was tight,all in all this piece was tight,keep droppin and elevatin.~1~
-
i like the direct approach lacks battle style punches but very direct to the point so that i definetly feel you have to elivate but i must say the potential is there for alot
-
Hmmm.......
A little weak, but i can see where your going and coming from.....Work on multis, and useage of better vocabulary and you will most certantly get better.
Just keep dropping and elevating. Peace
-
thnx, yea I gotta work on vocabulary, thnx
-
ok here u got a good imagery not alot of usage of good vocabulary u can work on that had an ok word structure and there were some lines that seemed a little forced so try to work on that also u got potential and i can see u get way better so keep on elevatin and try to use more vocab so u can build with better rhymes with differnt words not the same old rhyme and rhyme everytime u know but keep on elevatin ok this was a decent piece but keep doin ur thing aight
-
-
-
ILL verse i must say.....I could c u put sum thought in2 that verse.... O by tha way im new up here... il hit yall wit a verse later.....
-
woa... this was very tight
i enjoyed it, this is what i like
I loved the flow, i could read it so smooth
and this is another thread puttin me in a mood
a really good thing, i liked the rhymes alot
This thread by you was hot-hot-hot!
I liked the structure and it expressed ya feelins
I felt the same way with ma first user name CJ
I know alot knew me, but anyway
this is a great drop, thats what i can say
This was a 9/10(nine out of ten)
I want to read another one by you again
-
lol, it's a rapping responce, very creative. I'll take this one to heart, thnx
-
