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Dreams [Collab]
Dreams are a portal into the soul
Don't fear them, let em take control
CrazyCarl
Dreams tell me what I hope to be
Subconsciously, free all without fee
Distorted views of the present
Retorted hues of color lessen
If you dream in black and white
Sometime seems to back the fright
Of a nightmare in your brain
Used to scare on the brink of insane
Contemplate and think, but retain
Alleviate but sink, in hopeless pain
Oxymoron's to deal with increased stress
Approximately stealing time from the rest
Of your thoughts in the daytime
What you can’t control on your mind
You can try to think positive
But these fake ideas won’t stop this
Terror of the night, hand on our cerebellum
Use the light as a serum to dispel them
When we awake, the dream is gone
Have you witnessed an angel, or hell’s spawn
Dreams are a portal into the soul
Don't fear them, let em take control
Sammy B
I lay down in my bed that same old routine
My eyes slowly close as I begin to dream
Suddenly I am drifting through a sky of aquamarine
An ocean flowing the setting calm and serene
Rapidly a disturbing scene begins to play
Fear slowly rising you can't get away
The impending doom impossible to delay
A message of distress can't possibly relay
Nothing firm enough to jar your sleep
The scene is your family dieing as you weep
This image cannot be removed it can only seep
Deep inside your brain, a thought not wanting to keep
Free from pain but never from emotions
Steadily sinking constant demotion
But still you persist showing your true devotion
Then you're awake due to a violent commotion
Not found in reality your own thoughts notion
A cold sweat on your forehead from your dreams motion
Dreams are a portal into the soul
Don't fear them, let em take control
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This was a good collabo you both had good vocab so you described your feelings in raw detail the imagery was decent too i think carl your flow was slightly stronger than sammys espically on this line:
Distorted views of the presesnt
Retorted hues of colour lesson
Those lines stood out in your verse.
Sammy your imagery was good but try and up the flow thats the only criticism i could say about your verse.
Good collabo i appreciate the feen you left on mine.
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This was decent
it could of been better crazy i have read alot of your work and you was lacking a little in this piece! this sounded like poem material, and it was kinda deep! Carl bring back some of your better stuff i'm here waiting to read it! :thumbup:
check out My piece
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Real dope collab. loved the structure and rhyme scheme and concept wasn't too bad either keep up the good work cuz! ;)
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Lines were very short but very complex. I liked it.
Carl the first few lines were good. The vocab was pretty good with the use of cerrubellum. This flowed OK aswell
Sammy I thought that you had the better verse due to the longer lines a better flow and the wider range of vocab.
Fave Lines
lay down in my bed that same old routine
My eyes slowly close as I begin to dream
Suddenly I am drifting through a sky of aquamarine
An ocean flowing the setting calm and serene
Oxymoron's to deal with increased stress
Approximately stealing time from the rest
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this was really a great peice, i like to read great peices and this is one of them i like!!! Keep it up!:) i'd give it a 9/10!
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This was really good, very original. I havnt gotten to read other posts from either of you yet but if you keep up the use of vocab and style it should all be tight
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man very good peice.. complex and short at the same time.. keep it up.. ill be def. checkin out other drops.
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sick vocab and colab ppl!! I liked tha flow, and i too noticed that Crazy's lines had a lil more but I liked it nuntheless keep up tha good work guys-peace
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yo for real i was feelin that.i like da vocab and da flow was tight. on the real one of da best callbos i seen.
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Carl man you know i gotta say you collab'd dope on this mayne..Sam B...big upz to you u dropped dat knowledge on em...Vocab and multies and flow was nice Carl and Sammy you dropped dat education on em man...Propz for this piece..nice to see some peepz otha den me trynna educate da masses!...
U know i gotta up myne too go peep it Sammy B and eryone else http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...70#post2419570
Church
