First Song, "Ex-hilarate"

Dont mind the "Im a king", "im the best" stuff cuz this was from a whole notha forum. Im asiking whatchu think of it cuz i see y'all and ur on a whole different expertise from me...

Ex-hilirate

I ex-cel, I leave all ur weakness ex-posed
U rhyme so bad, I should actually take an ex-pos
Because you shouldnt battle at all, just 1 line is ex-cess
So stop before u end up on the UPS ex-press
Strange, I dont cuss but my rhymes are ex-plicit
I had hot joints, but I neva fell off unlike xzibit
My Rap's ex-quisite, harder than my friends ex-pected
Im natuarally betta den u, so u might as well x-cept(accept) it
Ur rhymes dont work together like the red-sox
While Im on fire like a new x-box
Do you know who i am? I spit like an ex-otic
The master came to teach u rap like its a phonic

Hook

They say I fell off, but now im ready for all y'all
Here i stand ready to play some hardball.
U gotta X-zilirate (X-zilirate) to get on my level
U gotta work yo way to get away of the devil
They say I fell off, but now im ready for all y'all
Here i stand ready to play some hardball.
U gotta X-zilirate (X-zilirate) to get on my level
U gotta work yo way to get away of the devil


Mr. King is here, aka the ex-pert of rappin
And will y'all to stop takin ex-erts from my rappin?
I was gonna make 3 albums, but i aint a junior
Cuz my rhymes freeze u up like a brand new freezer
I was deserted, not a deserter like x-kon
he should take his smelly gas and go down to ex-xon
he shouldnt eat too much food 'fo some docs ex-tract
and if i ever battled him, my k-o would be ex-act
My rhyme is international it just wants to ex-pand
So sit down cuz its time for your master's ex-am
Im on al the numba 1 hits so ill keep my cre-dit
And if you dont like it, u take the ex-it


Hook

They say I fell off, but now im ready for all y'all
Here i stand ready to play some hardball.
U gotta X-zilirate (X-zilirate) to get on my level
U gotta work yo way to get away of the devil
They say I fell off, but now im ready for all y'all
Here i stand ready to play some hardball.
U gotta X-zilirate (X-zilirate) to get on my level
U gotta work yo way to get away of the devil (X2)

It was pretty good, kid

What I woukld do if I were you:

Id listen to some Nas cds, and try to learn how he uses wordplay and vocab to his advantage.Then Id go to the help desk and learn about multis, igght...
u got the potential...keep dropoping rhymes

Yea it seemed pretty simplistic man. Try to up your wordplay and use of meta's in your flow. It will help to make your pieces much more complex and help them stand out from what a lot of other people are posting in here. But hey keep elevating. stay up.

Alright idea with the "ex" words, it worked for what it was worth. The verse were simple, you had to work around that concept. You had some wordplay, keep it up, there's room to elevate with it. Move on to more complex topics as you get more experience writing.
Return the feedback on "Soft Melody" in my sig.