Serpent's Contemplation

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Just a little something in a different style to what i usually use. Enjoy.




Serpent's Contemplation

A demon sits atop a mountain peak with golden wings
Mind distorted, his plans thwarted as the Angel's sing
He has Oedipal thoughts and rides a chariot of fire
As he descends into Oblivion, the mayter perspires
His ideas of conquest lay scattered to the winds
With unremdeemable, yet righteous rage bathed in harrowing sins
A condemed soul prepared to pay the ferryman's toll
With his blood, he had delusions of gold at the victor's pole
A rogue who tasted the tears of putting friction against the grain
Blistering in this pain, yet he listens for whats to gain
Took the words of his creator with a pinch of violent sacrelidge
And attempted to usurp the status quo, control and manage it

He tries to visualise a reconciliation with his astrange relatives
But realises the futility of such a pilgramidge

From his wonderous view, the sky splits in two like a sheet
Beams of light surround and caress him, shake him like a leaf
Dark figures on monstrous steeds, Pestilence, War, Death and Greed
ride past him on a crusade to scar, take breath and bleed
The pitiful screams of worthless souls clamour for his attention
But his melancholy from his predicament is the action's prevention

A single feather detaches from the symbol of his divinity
And is lost down the cliff face so indescriminately
The heavy hand of fate weighs on his shoulders forevermore
His transgressions have enlightened him to what we need a Serpent for

Johnny.......cool as hell......i like the new style......cool shit.....i dont really kno what to say.......its just dope.......

uppin this one time, cheers chronic^^

after I read the first 6 lines I just concluded that this would be accurate in concept for the rest of your lines. Seems like you were pretty calm when you wrote this were you not? or it might be just you made it seem calm or you know how to write like this or its just how you expressed it. This was great.

wow, nice piece....i was very submerged with your choice of vocab, you blended it very nicely with the overall feel of the piece, and came out very strong and meaningful....you seem like a very intelligent person with many views of the world and immitate them into your drops....plus you add that nice touch of a intriguing story into it...which makes the reader want to read on, lovely, keep up dude

^ werd, that was just me who typed that out, apparantly, my buddy was on here earlier and forgot to sign on

yo i was feeling this drop...your use of imagery was brilliant i felt like i was there...your vocab was nice and you had a few multies but you could've had way more na mean...structure wasnt perfect but ehh...it'll do...I seem to like your style of writing like this...you should continue this way as long as you'er gettin good feedback..overall i rate this 7/10
drop some feed on my OM plzzz...would be much appreciated..

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=184638

Well written piece and an original spin on a topic that many people unsucessfuly try to tackle. thought your vocab and structure were excellent. But your imagery was incredable. did a real good job of using your vocab to portry the idea your were trying to get across. Nice drop fam.