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ok
I handle the glock like MJ handle the rock
I leave niggas waitin to exhale after the gun pop
I enter ya mind like the matrix
as I read between the lines I can tell u just a fake bitch
dont fight me cuz u niggas cant relate bitch
ya rymes lack reality
when the techs come out you gonna be killed by a technicality
i gotta killas mentality
so when im in the zone ya final destination is a funeral home
I expect someone to hate my flow
but I got fiens on the block that love my blow
and i got hoes in my crib that luv to blow
so i really dont care if u cant understand my rymes cuz ya thinkin process is slow
believe me, u niggas that think you the best in this rappin shit
better breathe easy
because all it take is a bullet in the neck to sound like weezy
if you test me, you'll fail
cuz im harder to read then brail
so dont fuck with me cause I'll have the hardest nigga beggin for jail
and the most god fearin nigga prayin to go to hell
cause Im like a rappin version of a omen or a curse
with one verse I leave niggas in a hurst
make ya chest burst and ya head hurt
so even if I spit first you are still gonna get it the worst
and let ya ass get really close to mother nature and put you under the dirt
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Same Complaint But Acyually Not As Strong You Had Better Punches Here Delivery Was Strong Structure Solid I Give This 8.5/10 But Already Showing Improvement.
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Sorry dude, your whole shit was weak as a motherfucker. Instead of trying to follow everyone with the same hood centric bullshit thats posted by everyone an they mama why dont you try something different. it wont necessarily hurt either, since your punchlines are weak .
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Fucking stupid.I gurantee you,youve never handled a gun in your life.
Dont talk about this shit in your writing if you want people to take you anywhere remotely serious.
You need a stronger vocabulary and better metaphors,you need greater and more complex rhymes,you need better topics,and an improvement of your structure.
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Some of your lines were stretched, work on getting to the rhyme quicker. You had some wordplay, keep working on it, and through practice you'll get better at wording it the right way. Work on topics that have meaning to you, and you can go in depth with, so that you can put more emotion into it.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=178612
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1 Open Mic per day.
and why the fuck are you PMing me asking how to leave links when you already know!?!??!!
