Old Railroad Tracks: SS verse (vs. Awaken)

Old Railroad Track

Awaken to a beutiful picture, in the skyline the sun shone bold
God's perfection, perfect day for me, pops, and granps to take a stroll
Shot the breeze, enyoy the day and converse on current topics
Unitl we were unexpectely distracted by a too familiar object


Three generations converged in a conversation while on a breif walk
Expressions turned stone as our progression came to a sudden hailt
Rage abruptly swelled as open eyes gazed at intangled wood and steel
Blended with acceptance, knew at this boundary I had to yeild
Beyond that border dewelled those with pale skin pigmentation
Basking in jubulation as a result of their respected social situation
Established prominent school systems, six figure annual incomes
Decision makers, promise brakers, my town's key holders of wisdom
Left me envy stricken, longing for the lax life on that side of town
Cross the tacks, where peps with my complection were seldom found
Unless engaging in meaningless occupations for less than miminal pay
While aquiring uneasy glances, pre-generalized to posess criminal ways
Are we such a plague to your presence? All we want is some respect
Instead listening to mumbles of "nigger" come from under their breath
To be percieved as equal instead of branded with pesant status
But that reality is a dream where low self-esteem runs so rampit
Surpressed by our environment, victims of generations of bad habits
Hard to find life's quality when quality of life is barley sub-average
Guess the more things change........the more they stay the same
And although mangled and weathered those old tracks still remain
So I allow the rage to subside and replace it with peaceful compliance
Unhappily acknowledging two disconnected races unspoken alliance
They don't encroach our boundary.......and we do the same in return
These lessons in racisim many generations have been forced to learn
Yearn for change to no avail, was unwillingly compelled to face facts
I can't cross thoses old railroad tracks............................I'M BLACK

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=182553
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=182491

uppin for feed............

Very nice piece good luck in your battle. Should win with that verse. I've seen you around. Should drop more your shit is very ill.

I know the topic was picked for you but it was a nice verse considering. the vocab was brilliant n the flow was pretty nice. Nice to see that the lines weren't simple and nice to see that the rhyming words were varied and complex. Got some skill there.

Favorite Lines

Established prominent school systems, six figure annual incomes
Decision makers, promise brakers, my town's key holders of wisdom

Guess the more things change........the more they stay the same
And although mangled and weathered those old tracks still remain

Overall I'd give this 10 outa 10

Hope thats addiquate feedback. Kepp up the good work

That shit was hot no doubt about it

thanks for the feed guys................uppin for feed

uppin

upping again

not that it fuckin matter but...........uppin

that was very nice man good work. very true and it makes you think at the same time. nice work the word choice was very good and the imagery was also nice. i like how you took such a cliche phrase and brought it to life with a new twist on it. i like how you incorperated the family and the different generations to show that we move forward but the same problems still exist. very deep piece. some nice multi's but the best part was the story and the message. the ending was good but i feel like the last line could have been worded a bit better. but i am one picky honkey so meh. i really liked this and i hope you get the win.

thanx for peepin it fam

last uppin I guess

Bump. I like your stuff has a message and you get to it. None of that side crap like so many of these other guys. Snap that was downright dope. I think I coulda rolled that one and smoked it.

Na I just remembered I never left you a feed on this…
I enjoyed it a lot…I like the way you’ve approached the topic,very creative.Had a very good and ironic ending.The imagery was done well as you always do it,thru the use of good vocabulary.What I liked the most that it was just so good in almost every part of it.It flowed well,and just kept me interested on what you were gonna say next.Too bad Awaken didn’t show.All that trouble…I think he showed in some way,read yours and understood he didn’t stood a chance… :)
Peace man!

thanx K