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American idle
America’s idols are vital to survival
hours pass in Cairo, sands of time spiral
revival is simply idiotic with our models
bottled sincerity for ballers are coddled
revision of livin’ through eyes of men
we see a lent lense one way not lettin’ in
begin to live, in our athletes footsteps
escape in television leaving our regrets
ingest smiles and glances sitcoms pass
vast advance to detract and relapse, mask
prance our feet, in the dance of deceit
freak, listen to deranged rap over a beat
compete for shoes or gear, hear queers
search for twins so again we down beers
our worst fears have arrived n comprised
derived from 4 fathers, either follow or die
why are we no longer rebels with causes
cuz now we revel to level our coat closets
take a look at the media man, golden boy
he who uses and abuses women like toys
exterior made u fell inferior, scan his soul
dunking and hitting jumper wasn’t his goal
the innocence folds, dirty laundry’s exposed
this was prosed for purpose portraying those
foes contract contracts so that they act above
I greet creators as my inspiration with love
celebrities and athletes are not American idols
mind all teachers and parents they are.............
.............If not America will forever tread idle
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good piece djb.as i read it i thought to myself,u have something against television,since in your last OM you also showed that.now for your piece:the topic was good,and i liked you've touched many issues on the topic,all of them true and real,you squeezed in much info to back up your ideas.And the drop wasn't that long,but you touched so many issues i didn't feel like wanting it to be longer.what else?it flowed good to the eye,the rhymescheme and word choice helped a lot.Struture and vocab good.Nice read!Keep it up fam!
Ps:check "lost innocence" in my sig when you have the time!
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Damn this was an ill drop. Was those last lines about Kobe I wonder? Anwayit was very well written I like your use of muti's but the way u placed them i there didn't overshadow the point u were tryin to get across. Vocab was excellent, as well as imagey, the words almost jumped off the screen. Relly showed me some things I needed to work on. I'l piece fam.
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good topic, good use of vocab and a good sense of pace as well. good to see you branching out man. you never disapoint and this was no exception, a few multi's here and there would've helped things but this is a good piece overall.
keep posting and reppin' us right.
h'n'r.
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I enjoyed this verse. It was a clever topic, and put your point across well. It had a nice rhyme scheme, with plenty of multies at the start, which i always enjoy reading (I like multies dammit!). The Vocab was strong, so it didn't come across as a simple piece or anything similar. Haven't read much of yours before, and i was immpressed by this. Overall i thought this was an enjoyable read.
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i agree good topic, good wordplay, alot of emotion in this drop
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yeah man i felt this as i read it you exspressed yaself as best as yo could man kepe dat shit up its sum gud shit djb
are you more into writting or are you a audio
......................peace.................
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Impressive Twin I Love The Content Flow Delivery Wordusage. Fuck It This Gets The Patent Pending Dime Out Of 2 Nickles.
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lol wp and thanks everybody for the feedback nice to see love especailly from the fam. johnny this had multi's all over the place a hole.....lol. and i am mostly writing but i am starting to get into audio. i just suck ass at it
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upping for some more feed
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can i please get a little more feed on this
