March

The dark comforts the hidden hand that melts the heart of soldiers,
Where the frail can barely stand locked in line, shoulder to shoulder,
Trudging on through dirt and sludge fatigue the steering wheel,
Effort pumped high, fuelled machines led by the false sound of wars appeal,
'Fight for your country!' they cried promoting glory in their stead,
But how on earth can a nation survive, when all its men are dead?
Widowed wives when troops arrive and livlihoods destroyed,
Spurred on by polititians who use wise words to fill the void,
That was created when the fated died, pupils dilated, hungry faces,
Marching under powers banner in costume, steel capped boots, frayed laces,
Disgraced parade of madness, school children armed with guns,
They won't figure to pull the trigger when the sound of war drums hum.
Plunged into a crowded trench eyes fixed down the barrel of a firearm.
Into the iris of the enemy who seems just as scared, alarmed,
Hesitation to release the bullet that you feel pierce your beating chest,
War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.

inspired by a famous poem by some famous guy..i will find out and post i up when i get a chance.

laughable the amount of replies.

Nice piece. Everyone seems to be writing similar pieces now-a-days. I liked this more than the average though. It was more vague, and I think that helped it. Nice drop. It's sad when a short piece by a good writer gets no replies. Keep doing you.

:thumbup: ye it diffently waz hot g0od flow purty much g0od

thanks lol im loved after all...thanks Wicked!

This was pretty good

I've always liked your work and ya should get more replies. The flow was nice and steady and your structure was flawless. Nice story tellin made for a good piece.

Keep droppin and hit up the link in my sig please

This was a dope verse i think it would work better as a poem than a rap but it was good every line had good imagery and emotion.
Your vocab really brought the verse made it stood out the flow wasnt there but the imagery and emotion in the rhymes stood out to me.
Overall a really good verse.

Return the favour.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=182783

I agree wit wicked...although people are writin da same shit nowadays...some may have that spark but not many...just have to search...good shit though

thankin yous!

try puttin it up on the front board lol im in progress of writing summat personal i think.