The way you make me feel

The Way You Make Me Feel

You bring out the best in me, but also the worst
And made me fall for you and now I'm forever cursed
By this thing between us that no one can explain
You give me so much pleasure but cause me some much pain
And its hard for my brain to maintain all that my heart contains
An its a shame my heart skips a beat everytime I hear your name
I'm goin insane wit all these feelings I'm havin that are unexplained
I think? no I gotta be crazy, the way I feel about you wow it amazes me
You build me up to drop me down but them high times is what I'm savoring
I block out the bad, cuz only these good memories I'm enabling
To stay n my train of thought, wish da way I feel about you would just stop
But I've come to realize a power this strong is not to be fought
So why do you do this to me, why do you make me feel this way?
Were you a curse cast apon me or were you just an act of fate?
So were you sent from the depths of Hell or from the Heavens above?
But I've realized that the connection between us is the connection of LOVE!

Links
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=180284
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176291
:thumbup:

Quote:

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You give me so much pleasure but cause me some much pain

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i totally can relate to this line, cus my girl is messin my head up just now

your rhyme was tight, good flow and structure
i was feelin the most part of it
plus it's real
good work

.... Damn, I got deep into this...

"An its a shame my heart skips a beat everytime I hear your name"...........

You could turn that into such beautiful poetry, either way I liked it a lot.

Preperations were good, structure was okay and flow was passable.. But still a great read.... See, you intertwined being scared and feeling loves. Anxiousness and being quiet.

Good job, keep these coming.

This ws pretty nice man
I can see your elevating...your starting to use some
internal rhyming....but be careful not to overload on it...
...The only major critique I have is that some of the lines
were a bit long and wordy...other than that this was a nice
piece...for your next one go 24 lines or so...I would like
to see a long piece from you...shit I'll even collab with
ya if you would like...Stay up man

Fo Real.. I Can Relate To Alot Of That.. Very Nice Drop... Everything Pretty Much On Point Except For Your Vocab & Few Lines Sort Of Filler.. But Everything Else Was Tight...Good Job.. Keep Droppin..

Thanx for the feed............keep it comin

Uppin for feed..........don't sleep on me

ight this was cool. it seemed real. the only thing that could be worked on is your wordyness. some words were unessicary. there are a lot of good quoteables in here though. evident by the people up above me. kinda a sweet story. this was good. keep repping hnr. you are constantly elevating

nice drop stat$.you could've went for a longer drop,put more emotion in there...i think it would've been better.but it's good this way too.had some good concepts in there but what i might suggest some you drop a few bigger words now and there,helps to put more focus on your ideas.the piece flowed good,structure and vocab ok.a good read.keep it up!

and if you could return the feed in "Writings of an Immortal soul" in my sig it would be much apreciated.