dead president

yo dont talk just listin

yo i kno yall kno how i fell
wonderin all day if ill ever get to see a meal
wen the only way to survive is kill or get killed
niggas stepin at my door fin to get grilled
yall kno wat i mean
mutha fuckin bush make promisis he kno he cant keep
cuz he dont kno how it feels to have kids that cant eat
home alone ay so weak thay cant speak
wonderin why theymoms been gon for weeks
home in an empty hpusenothin to eat
damn we should have known better
he bull shitted sayin he gonna make the projects betta
how we he dont kno wat projects are
he say he see the sruggle as he ride passed quick in his armer car
to him we a disgeace
seein kids wit money in they hands rags on they face
wen only 6 out of 100 kids graduate
but any way its all bullshit
teatcher so high he cant teatch the kids
bush got are immunity
sayin all he want is better for the minarity cummunity
and whie boys dont always got it good
iv seen a few in the hood wit fur at the top of they coats to
pitchin just to make a livin
so not akk of them is good
cuz some is in the same boat as us
this shit give me a rush
but itall good
ever scince he won the election he aine spoken the hood
we was used as goats
nothin but farmed and this the man who got are vote

It makes a good point, but you need to have words that are understandable. While I understand that rapping is laxed on the spelling front, if people cant comment on your keystyles, then they cant give correct feedback, and all that shit.

Anyways, I like it upto the projects bit, I kinda wandered off there because it just ddint strike into me as much as the starter did. I did really like the opening bit as it hit me as something that definitely shows you have potential. The point wavers a bit and you have a lot of odd lines that dont match up with other lines, in the sense that some are reay sort while others are long, and its hard to string them together so it all flows. Other than that you have potential and I hope to see another rap from you, thats improved from this.

uppin

your right... i HATE bush "wen only 6 out of 100 kids graduate" thats sad but true..., overall this was ok... it made its point.. but needed more structure.. and it was a lil choppy, but i thuoght u mad a great point nicely done...

yo thnx for the feed back and for the tips.

uppin

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

uppin