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Untitled
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=177967
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=174433
im going to make this into an audio, so leave some feed and tips i'll hit yours back up. At the end im ridiculing those types of people not ryhmining cos it sounds good.
i throw an impossible
obstacle into your logical path,
mind mapping psychological blood baths,
advanced like maths, unstoppable wrath,
blinding optical trapts when i catch a glance,
yous no chance, i damage long term like pot,
tick tock flowin like a stop watch, phenominal
formiddale, watch as i drop hot
plot suicides and what not,
dont believe much propped recitals,
of the lying, much stocked bible,
strip you of your 'im the greatest title'
i leave rivals deranged and liable,
permentntly changed, im spittin fire balls,
that could make the sky falls,
whilst modern day "men" drink fight an fall,
whilst comparing size of balls,
minute battles give me 60 individual weapons,
its not in my principles to be coming second,
so crtitcul, when i ridicule, super lyricals,
invisible bubble blowing individuals,
killin bulls for sylablles, gettin net pyhsical,
an those criminals, street crime pinnacles,
real ilegal activities at minimul,
slight and subliminal, why the lying,
you be crying when your mans dying,
im multiplying the standards of tying,
its menolin, i speed up adrenelyne,
quicker than amphetemine,
bettter than any with the letters man,
fuck petty fans, materialistic artists,
dont start this, simplistic pricks,
get left the farthest, away from light,
the hard lifes stuck in images in my brain,
you hard life runs through your dick vein
*quite a few typos sorry, im a little tired and a little wrecked.
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Nice......multis were good and everything else was on point.....now we gotta hear the audio
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ne of u wnt to battle wid me bcos im new n i wnt to win a few
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go to frontlines and make a call out^
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Great flow... Good vocabulary... This would definately sound good on audio. It doesn't have any particular point or storyline but you wrote this in an individual way so that it almost doesn't need a storyline, it's individual to you and reflects your writing style. It's clear you have skill but I think you could've made this a little better with a little more structure, fixing the typos and whatnot just to make it a little more presentable. Technically speaking though there wasn't much wrong with this.
Let me know when this is on audio... Check out "Unseen Insurgent"...
Peace
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The vocab was nice. I thought the rhyming was good, complete with multis and internals. The topic was going into self-glory, which means the verse was supported by wordplay, which you entered into the verse, had some good ideas. The verse flowed nicely as a whole, no stretched lines. Some rhymes are not completely rhyming, so you will have to alter the way you say the word in the audio a little.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=178612
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the rhyme scheme in this was crazy.. and the content was abstract, so those are 2 good combinations to have in an open mic.. im feelin this, it was entertaining and original, props for that keep it up, peep my shit out
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176138
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This was good I thought that the flow was dope nice work..
RTF on the OM in my signature.
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i've hit your links up.
uppin
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it's kinda good for an audio peice.the flow is good,and the vocab ok...it's more like a freestyle,u didn't follow a center idea,but it's good for the type of drop you aimed for.the rhymescheme could have a little improvements,but in audio you can do that by the way say the words...and the structure was olso good.overal it was a good piece,wonder how it would sound in audio...keep it up!
please return the feed:Unfufilled Prophecy in my sig.peace!
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