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me gettin beat... when
i got the bitchis writin blanks like they aint got no pen
my flo got these bitchis bedin over sick like a fag in the pen
yo homie dont hate
cuz ill have u lookin stupid like banks on them homo tapes
i got these bitchis runnin and shit
then i go to they crib got they bitch dummin my dick
dont run ya mouth
cuz ill run in ya crib
trust me in my hood im famous for the shit
they confused lookin around
till the here them shots fierd and they hittin the ground
It was aight for a newbe, Flow was iight, concept was played, but what concept isn't really these days.!
Fav lines
yo homie dont hate
cuz ill have u lookin stupid like banks on them homo tapes
It was iight for a Newbe....
Return the Favor
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=177535
It Was Alright..Might Wanna Just Lighten Up A Bit On The Gangsta Shit Ya Know... Kinda Lost The Flow In The End But It Was Alright ...Stay Up Peace
Try Writing To A Beat Helps Alot
Your structure needs work, could have added some lines and context to make the lines more uniform. Keep your wordplay up, it brings up the quality of a piece like this. Keep writing to improve your rhyming, you rhymed some of the same words. Vocab has room for being upped.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175493
You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.
yO... thats one of the wackest freestyles ive ever read in my life... im new and i spit iight but damn i know its not that bad but i could kill that in just few lines...
im like quentin mcCrackin cause when i get ta crackin i get to work fast as tanctin,
ya'll faggits just actin i dunno whatcha lackin,
but if all ya packin is ya grandma's napkin Bitch thats what ill leave ur brains wrapped in, ya best get ta clappin,
cause once ur face gets smashed in,
people gone be laughin,ill fuc* u up so bad u be like what just happen....
what u act like white boyz dont be rappin,HA
if i could get points 4 rappin i could be rackin,
im gunna be takin what ur graspin
go too the diss
this was aight for a young wun. butyou need to work on ya vocab. an keep a beat.it all comes together better. but keep tryin