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humanochalypse
Humanochalypse
With hopeless abeyance I skip thru history’s pale pages,
The modern turn back to the blurred image of the dark ages,
See young g’s struggling in desperation to make minimum wages,
Too many brothers deprived of freedom in steel cages,
But the blind fool in his eternal doomed quest still praises(god),
God above sees the situation the world’s in is outrageous,
The law grows of sin, and chastises it, we all dots in history’s pages,
Shit,it’s a fuckin’ anthisesis:it’s war out there, but feels like peace,
No soul at ease till the inevitable wish of death’s bitter sweet kiss,
Too many males jack of all trades,and master of none,what the fuck is this?
Shit,too many kids have to act at thirteen as full grown males,
Hand on the gun,livin’ from inevitable sleazy crack sales,
Overcrowded jales,the answer of a bitch destiny that smells,
Like rotten eggs,a young girl looks to god and begs,and dwells,
To stand,to run?what to do with her newly birth son?
The only thing that shine is the sun, darkness is abound,
Hearts pound in the mist of the night without a single sound,
Gun at the head when he turn around, and there he found,
An eleven-year-old crakchead with more then weed in his lung,
Stolen his cash,push the trigger,dien slow on the ground,
Contemplate on his life,from the playground to the life confound,
His body shakin’ in the claws of death,his flesh cleft,
Now the only thing left for him,is to die walkin’ slowly down the shaft…
In this troubled forsaken times all ya can do is loathe,
Loathe life’s worth, doctors not respectin their Hippocratic oath,
Ill won’t get treated if ya don’t shove money down medics throat,
The world’s sick,people dien’ near hospitals, barely can stay afloat,
This world’s shit innocent children weep in whisper in their sleep,
Modern day nightmares induced by television, nightmares creep,
Strip the vapors and ya’ll get the vision, war for oil!this is getting’ deep,
Crackhead presidents rule our life as pastors and we the sheep,
Damn bastards……..agony and insecurity mo’ and mo’ seep,
The only loialty and determination to be found in a drug addict,
From a pure genesis our action took as straight to sclerosis,
Shit…………….Honor means for most: broken promises,
long set times filled with glory pass as shadowz,what the fuck is this?
Women disrespected, the corrupt protected, a friend of mine HIV infected,
We all dejected thru pain connected, all our wishes are neglected,
Prays directed to god: save us from this world we created, but is he affected?
The hollow image of the grim world in the mirror reflected,
An unexpected truth, the world is bound forever to be uncorrected,
Undirected hate runs astray in an array of endless human decay,
Children play where bullets move quickly as fast as a sun ray,
A day without a murder has become for many a real holyday,
Humans pass-away in sins,noboy cryn’ since they just pass on the relay…
Remember what K say,the world is in ashes like an ashtray,
In this world If ya want the sun to rise’n’shine…….ya gotta pay.
This is just a glimpse,of the humanochalypse…
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"Undirected hate runs astray in an array of endless human decay"-wicked...
when ya post feeds don't forget to leave a link so i can return the feedback!
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K9, that was an amazing piece. the thought you put into it was incredible. great word usage and structure. very impressive from top to bottom. nice job fam.
::return the favor if you could and vote on a battle of mine at the bottom of my sig::
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This was dope i was really feeling it the concept was good and you dug deep into the topic there was just great emotion in the rhymes you was just saying what was real but it wasnt corny it was just raw.
The structure and vocab were on point the flow was ok but the emotion in the verses made it hot.
reply to this please.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176403
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thx for the feeds so far.expect more...
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Very well done man. Ill drop through and through. I can tell that u sat down and put a little time into this one and it showed. Vocabulary was good and the way u used it to encompass such a wide range of topics and issues was great. Becoming a regular fan of ur work man. Don't really have any suggestions for u, wasn't any flaws that stood out to me. Just keep doing r thing. And get back at me about the other thing. Uppin for ya.
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thx for the feed man.will do...
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yeah man this was a bomb ass piece, str8 dope
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This was a really good read and i enjoyed reading it alot. I think that this was really good. It had loads of description and it just flowed smoothly. Your namr almost made me turn away but i'm glad that i checked this out you should join the sacred scriptures topical league i think you would do well..
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yeah i know the name bugs even me:the part with "THESHIT"...but when i got signed in,noticed that K9 was already taken,so i wrote the first thing that came into my mind that fo' so wouldn't be taken.thanks for the feed man.
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Man this was nice, very nice.
But i got to mention your structure and punctuation and overall grammer on this piece, it lacked a lot. Im not taking anything from this piece, if you sort all this out, make it look a lot better and read better, you have the potential to become a great writer man.
Now the piece in itself was the essence of yourself.
I can see a lot about you from this piece, you have a good mind, the expression here was evident.
You rhymed well, usually when the last word on a sentence is constantly rhymed,its always sum dumb shit. But you dragged it out, and overall it went well together.
Which leads to the wordplay and vocab being ultra nice.
Maybe you cudda added a chorus or somthing, something to break it down and once again make it look better so people'll wanna read it.
Sort out your grammer, write how you want it to look and all your pieces have potential.
Keep writing man, work at it, good luck :thumbup:
