Man Vs. Mile

Man Vs. Mile
...Just To Get To You

Exhausted, nautious.... Set on a mission to you.
Ordering myself forward, forced toward my visions of you.
Decisions I made to not stop 'til I found you,
Wishing to be positioned amongst the air thats around you.
To surround you, I need to share the air you breathe.
I need you to care... To love me... I need you to believe.
I want you here to concieve, I want to share your beliefs.
I want to wander where you walk and relish in your relief.
I want to reatreat out of harm into your beating heart.
I want to retire in your arms and never be apart.
I want our distance to be halved so Im twice as close to you.
Im supposed to look over you, but I cant even see you.
I hear you, your footsteps on the wind. Im near you.
As I stalk you, I walk with you and I fear what you will say.
I echo your footsteps, will we talk or turn away?
Will I light your face with gladness as you find comfort in my eyes...
Take away the sadness with the memory of my lies.
Or will you cry and match my stare, fighting me with hate...
Ignite the fire deep inside thats been burning bright of late,
Will you crush all my hopes within a single stare?
Will you stomp on all my dreams without the will to care?
I stare into your shadow cursing such thoughts...
Caught in the moment I swear my love to yours.
You turn and say you know it, pause and say 'whats next?'...
You take my hand and hold it, force it to my chest.
Look me in the eyes and say 'We both know this is best.'
You turn away and continue, knowing Im wanting you, feeling me watching you.
Thinking you know, for both of us, whats best to do.
I watch you through tears as you walk into the night...
Im not crying because you left me, Im crying because you're right.

--------
First thing Ive wrote in a bit, lost all my stuff lately to my fucking stupid comuter crashing... Hmmm, anyways, drop link and Ill reply...

Please leave decent feed, :thumbup:

I hope this doesnt get deleted like some of my other posts have been huh?

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...80#post2144580
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...93#post2144593

Any1?

Please leave decent feed and a link and Ill hit yours up for you

Thanks

:thumbup:

nice...great story and ending.ain't that long here,but i have yet to seen a love song(story) as yours.inteligent verses on this.good context and rhymes,really feallin the story.

return the fav
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175705

wow man that shit was deep... sumtin must o happened 2 u 2 make u write that shit... im not the type of person 2 write that kind of mushy mushy shit but wow that shit was nice, gives me respect 4 peeps who like 2 write that stuff... i saw sum good form there, quite a few double rhymes... pretty good all in all, story was different, good, but different... it almost sounded like u was stalkin sum1 lol... i questioned the flow thou, i think that would b sumtin u would use in the poetry section not the rap but u got skills man... very nice very nice

hmmm... this was a decent piece, but i finished reading feeling blown away. i was really feeling the beginning, but in the middle you lost me, maybe just cuz i'm tired, but i wasn't interested. the last six lines or so started to pick up, but the real killer was the last bar:

I watch you through tears as you walk into the night...
Im not crying because you left me, Im crying because you're right.

that was crazy, honestly that hit me so hard. mad props for the feeling behind that line. good post

Uppn this, thanks for the replies so far.

not many can start with the word ''you'' and use it 4 lines straight; then 3 lines straight and you made it HOTT

return the feeback:

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...06#post2145806

Im not sure if thats good feed or not...

Anyways, thank you.

Despite all the beef ive been recieving lately, Id like more feed on this.

uppn?

Imagery Played Well.
Wordplay Was Tight.
Very Deep Text Here.
Keep The Emotional Shit Coming.

Ok, thanks

Up

nice joint keep it up,,,,ya doin good,,,alot like it

Thanks man, but try leave some better feed before robomod gets onto you for it.

Up

^lol @ robomod

anyways, the topic was good, i like how you went at it, got creative with it. emotion was pretty strong in this. but i find it kinda disturbin when you started like 6+ of those lines with "I" and then started ending them with "You", but after reading it over a few times it started to fit in. i kinda liked how you started it with stuff like "I need you to....." "i want you too...." then it changed into questions like "will you......", ect. i liked the whole concept of this. emotion was hittin hard throughout this whole verse and yeah, i enjoyed readin this. the last 4 lines finished it very good

You turn away and continue, knowing Im wanting you, feeling me watching you.
Thinking you know, for both of us, whats best to do.
I watch you through tears as you walk into the night...
Im not crying because you left me, Im crying because you're right.

^^loved them

but yeah this was a nice drop, i enjoyed readin it (i read it a few times lol)... good work



My open mic:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176386

Thanks

any1 else?