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loyalist to the end going have
niggas cliping on ya brains its
a shame i just got into this
game already have niggas
laying on maybach rims an
i stay loyal to the game like
2pac if shit you talk then its
2 guns i pop still alive i ll
pop again this time in head
to stop me ya going have to
kill to kill me ya going have
to fill ya nines look out am behind
ya wit my nine am still pop shit till i
DIE!!!!
im not really feeling this.. its not as bad as it could have been.. but there was really no point, or main thing u were talking about in it..i think u should expand ur ideas from guns and try to move on to somethin more deep and personal for real cuz this is played
sounds like a miss guided soul
is there anything besides guns
perhaps money
material possessions
bitches(ladies)
write your life not tupac's
or biggies people only gonna feel you
when you spit the real truth
but your still a youth in this game
only got one tooth
but not a shame
basically it's aight
but write from (you)
^agreed. your best pieces always come from topic ur really passionate about. I wasn't really feeling the rhyme scheme in this. Try to be more creative with your topics and vocabulary. Keep Elevating.
You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.
Keep writing and you'll be able to improve your rhyming. The rhyming was simple, elevate your vocab. Practice freestyling in the cypher, and you'll get better.
return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175493
yall niggas aint talkin bout battlin
if u is hollla at me
need to get deez wins on da board
Myaties in place
fuck.. brilliantgotheat..put ur fuckin posts into one thing..and if u wanna battle..ill battle u..no problem there
yeah, i wasn't really feelin this at all either...work on flow...vocab too, work on that. and be like more individual like talk about your life....make ur shit personal...aight...keep working on it