1st open mic...BEEF

Beef:thumbup:

Beef is a bunch of bs, all Publicized/
50-nas, Biggie and pac just dun to attract Eyes/
This shits gotta stop, cause conflits Erupt/
Stars get caught up, mixed up, and soon go Bankrupt/
Reporters and publicists do this for Attention/
Its all fun and games, till cops start Apprehension/
And whats with this new beef, 50 and Game/
I say this shits fake, cuz they all start off the Same/
Then shit spreads...cops involved, front page on the News/
Emcees wakeup, get calls, start to get Confused/
Accuzations of shots fired somewere in the Streets/
They get pissed, cameras in they face, questions is Repeats/
Soo stressed they get, work slips Away/
Spot lite fades, and haunting memories seem to Stay/
Beef occurs in the world, not only in the rap Game/
Take 9/11 for instance, this shits a cryin Shame/
Osama bin laden and Sadem Hussein/
2 motherfuckas the U.S has gotta Obtain/
Attacks on new york city, that shit was Dark/
Beef in real world aint exactly a strole in the Park/
One of these days beef would be demolished Completely/
As i sit wit this buildup, i stare and think Discretely/

Return the Feedback on ma Sig...thankx

yo dawg that was phat....

i liked the flow it was cool you could just go a long with it...the structure was good to lines pretty much all the same length..i think you really explained "beef" between game N fiddy ya thats shits tru and 9/11 ya thats tru to...rhymeing i liked used words that arent easy to rhyme wich makes it better i have to admit i prob would of neva came up with sumthin like this lol...

aiight yo return feedback in the battle in ma sig aiight thanks

GOOD JOB!! KEPP IT UP!!

Ive just replied to this. You made two threads on the same topic.

Lol.

This was a decent verse for your first drop.
The subject was good but i didnt think you really dug deep enough into the subject to make the verse really stand out and make dope statements.
The structure of the rhymes was ok the vocab was ok but needs work.
The flow was ok but you just need to write more rhymes and you should improve it, keep writing and keep posting.

Return the favour
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175486

yea dude i liked That beat you used you have a nice flow

^wtf i cant see a beat were are yu lookin BANNED

anyway alright nun spacial ur flow is off but who cares