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Blind to Reality?
Blind to Reality
Insidious assiduous impervious visions,
Neverending rhymes powered by Nuclear Fission.
Individual indivisble liabilities,
Restrict this dual visible ability.
Perception of the conception,
Election of what they want you to see - Interception.
Seperation of the blind from the able,
Dragged from their homes and shot dead in the stable.
Free of the optical illusion,
They walk free of confusion and intrusion.
Simulatory world I express in oratory,
Observe the story of the derogatory.
He walked - swipe swipe - like windscreen wipers,
The hiss of buses worries him - sound of vipers.
A blind existence - no colour or imagery,
Divine presence - life of valor and superiority.
The opposite to what is assumed,
Intelligent visions consumed and exhumed.
Chants and rants from ignorant bystanders,
Dismissed by the awareness of the lies and slander.
He knows he doesn't lose anything by being blind,
In fact he gains and yet suffers from people's crimes.
He walks on in peace,
Unaware his life is about to cease.
He's pulled into an alleyway by a figure,
Slit throat he collapses without a word.
Unnoticed by the public - another disabled person,
An able person shot dead - media immersion.
For the view we assess,
Is false - I address this mess.
Veil of perception shrouds our vision,
Impression of truth evokes an inaccurate impression.
Attain understanding of the true earth,
Insane expanding theories of the true birth.
I give warning as I exert this verse,
As I'm carried away in a hurse.
The government roams free to label and persecute,
My surgical rhymes like capital punishment - they execute.
- Peace -
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Yo nice peice. I liked your vocab and techniques you used ( alliteration in line 3)
didnt flow too well though, Nice structure and all. Overall nice peice
Stay up :thumbup:
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Yeah I noticed the problem with the flow too... This was just something I wrote quickly. The vocabulary is interferring with having a decent flow generally but hopefully I'll get past that in my next piece... Practice makes perfect eh?
Thanks though...
Peace
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I didnt feel there was too much of a problem with the flow
It was a good piece with a good use of vocab and a good consistant structure. For some reason I aint a fan of them bein center aligned but that aint a big deal. It was a nice easy read with good imagery and creativity...
Overall, really good
Keep at it
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yeah there was little flow proble but shit was aight it is definitly worth studio tyme is ya get some work on the flow keep em comin pimp
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Hmmm this seemed a lot more like a poem than a rap to me. But your vocabulary is beautiful, nice work none the less. Preperation was well done and colors blended well. The overall story was hard to tell but as you get on and if you understand the words from the beginning it comes together what exactly your talking about. I enjoyed this just from the rhyme scheme. Nice work.
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Thanks for the all the feed I appreciate it...
Uppin'... Leave links and I'll leave feedback as soon as I can...
Peace
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