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Beam Me Up
Word Perfect- creating the machine
idle- a dead bird...
An SS league verse of the week. :) No shit, enjoy.
Prologue
its mankind's gift to traverse the earth's surface
but i acquired an ability to render that gift worthless
The Story
i never saw the ambush coming, it was calculated carefully
they were prepared for me, a group of thugs stood glaringly
the leader was a monster karmically, i was seeing his ex
he was a rapist, a torturer, seethingly vexed
told his friends to hold my arms and took a run up
trying to fuck my nuts up, take a blade to my chest and cut up
there was nothing i could do, so my eyes, i screwed shut
visualised a different place away from these apes with crew cuts
then it happened, a blur of light, sound and shifting shapes
the world morphing like listless drapes, violent shit could wait
my vision cleared and i realised i'd been transported
back to my house, 5 miles away, my enemies plan thwarted
i had to touch the walls, test out the texture of floorboards
i couldn't believe it, this was revelation, a treasure hoard
i'd been blessed, saved from wrath by mysterious circumstance
so i tried my luck again and tried to advance
my eyelids dropped, cleared my mind of thoughts of tropical beaches
and visualised an alien planet on the universes outer reaches
the light closed in again surrounding my body oddly
and just for a laugh as i vanished i cried...
"beam me up scotty!"
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I think you beat me with this verse in SS if I'm correct... But naw I dont care about that anymore... This was a real nice piece it had alot of imagery and the story was real nice... Keep dropping
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yeah the plot was weird as fuck... i'm not really into sci-fi shit (i hate it) but i still got to give respect coz you did this really well, nice lines, one or two multi syllable rhyme schemes (always nice in story tacks)
''its mankind's gift to traverse the earth's surface
but i acquired an ability to render that gift worthless''
this was my favourite line because even though it was sci-fi it made me want to read the whole thing.
good
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Nice drop. Really enjoyed the imagery. I always get into any piece where the word are put together well enough for me to picture the events in my head. Nice drop Johnny.
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I liked this a lot... Great flow... Good balance of vocab... Nice story. It maybe could've been a little longer but that's no big problem. I don't really have much to say except nice work.
Thanks for the useful feedback on "Messiah Complex"
Peace