Frostbitten Wounds

Frostbitten Wounds

Shrouded in cold mystery, I wish i could surrender this feeling
Deleting mind's history teeter-tottering on the brink of reality
Leaning towards fatality...feeling the wounds inside my heart
Caged by bones, guarded by blood, I need an ending to start
Healing this sharp pain that stabs deep down inside me, prodding me
Frostbitten wounds can't heal my insecurities, yet their stopping me
From commiting to removing the blade see...my past is forgotten
But im reminded from these scars that leave my heart blacknrotten
Frostbitten...from a cold knife that rests deep inside my epidermis..
Contorted contortionist.. the things my heart tends to learn from this..
Biblical bliss.. I covet thy nieghbours wife. stab me. he had every right
Used to be good friends with family. Frostbitten wounds left cold as ice
Cold, the vice grip in my heart when I was betraying my best friend
Wounded, the way he that he left me after he discovered we spent
Quality time together.... I asked him if we could leave this behind...
Skip through our minds and hit rewind. Saw the look on his face.. "Nevermind"
Felt the graze of the knife ...it wasn't the blade that left me frostbitten
It was the coldness in my heart that left my wounds in a written
Conspiracy.. This poem. This Life. His blade. His Wife.
Have left my frostbitten wounds.... Cold as ice.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...71#post2084671
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=171479

i liked the metaphors in this peice... it pulled it together very nicely, i also really like the vocab i though you chose some very interesting peices... seems like you avoided using simple words which made it very complex. Good job here definatly a very nice peice.. the best one ive read today.. even though ive only read a few it's definatly good shit... keep it up man...

upping for feedback

this was dope, real dope, nice to see some good talent coming out of my own hometown, anyways, this was real poeticly done and had some strong metaphoars, the flow was dope and it kept me reading through the whole verse without getting bored, nice and short drop

peACE

man this was doppe nice job good meta and flow and strucure.. i actaully read it with out stooping or getting bored. gj

keep elevating@!!

Nice peice, i liked the imagery here. Flowed nice and you had great vocab use.many people jus throw in some long words

nice peice

good shit right here

thank you, but do you mind giving more feedback. ie. what stood out to you, what can i improve on etc.

yo that shit was tight man like good job