~Warriors of Heaven and Hell~

Karuido floats as if butterfly petals
. . . dust never settles on her swift kazari metal
silver sing sword slices ever so silently
. . . and more than a few are carried ever so violently
hellborn beautful, she kills for your vanity
. . . her prison is where you're damned to insanity

Bixia Yuan'Jin laughs with the raindrops
. . . pain stops in her arms where you shame starts
slowly, so stoicly she steals back forgiven
. . . and there's a place in your heart where she is living
full moon diety will only see the best in thee
. . . if you put faith in yourself and your destiny

Constantine walks unseen in the between
. . . unclean dreams are filled with purgatory's screams
savage he slavers and slanders for sweet peace
. . . he's always asking "Why does Heaven cheat me?"
only fellowship is gate keeper, the Grim Reaper
. . . demon claws clutch always dragging him deeper

Abbaddon abandons rabidly out of habit
. . . feasts on your greed, just because you have it
solemnly static it's tragic and sadly sorrow filled
. . . remembers past sins and waits for tomorow's kill
he smokes the souls and breathes in desperation
. . . to grow his dark army he culls the weak of the nation

Jesus frees us as he washes the whore's feet
. . . always there when the others just want to abhor me
sobbing i'm saved every day from the sinning
. . . so obvioius in this war to know who is winning
can't you see the pure love of the holy trinity?
. . . the greatest weapon is surely faith in divinity

Liked the flow to this, you had some nice internal
rhyming and your extended vocab made the rhymes
complex. This gave it a real meaning and allowed
different sides and aspects of what you were saying
be heard. Wasnt too sure about the structure, seemed
more of a poem than an actual rap piece, but your
different stanza's were laid out well and it certainly
flowed smoothly.

Story was good, liked the way you potrayed different
"characters" n each stanza, kept it deep but at the
same time let it be simple enough to understand and
read...nice. Overall, it was a well constructed song,
nice flow, vocab & story. The added complexity of it
made it worthwhile to look at, nice job...4/5

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

ONE
TWO

i thought it was good, i liked the whole story and shit.

^that really cant be classified as feedback.

it is ok i guess he is just new

hi everybody!

one more time i suppose