Step Father Funeral

He's crying in his bed, his mind had another laspe
His mothers back, his step-dad just broke another lamp
Tossing and turning, while his pops cussing and burning
With that fuckin hatred that has him dusting his earnings
He cracks a laugh quick, half lit, angel dust and acid,
prolly trippin backflips in the confinement of his tragics
Then the smash of his fast fist starts to crack ribs
Upon the boys mother, and the boy, he screams massive
Roars rip a sweet silence no longer music to his ears
He's growing two bit near his eyes not excludin tears
Sobs fill his heart, but he cant let him discover he's
trying not to make noise while praying under these
cover sheets on his face that mask his broken stoop
the same exact covers that shield his open wound
But if he spoke to you, what would he say to you?
just use them covers...
to wipe his ashamed footprints on the way to school
Abuse the others..
His mom takes it in black for the slight will
To make sure his step dad will pay the light bill
The nights killed, even after the incedent
Disaster is him within, and plasters his innocence
With mastered, legitiment, hope to tatter his inners with
The thought his mom & his step dad arent practicin intement

moments..
cuz his mom having sex & getting beat...
he cant tell...
the actual difference...

So behind the dirt-cloth, he sits & behaves
never quit could he of embedded this pain
forever recalling shit that was left in his brain
when he past and left us in desprate distain
cuz his cover sheets is dirt, ledded in plains
now the boys sleepin, and his bed is his grave


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=170201
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...17#post2079017

this was Ill .. Pretty damn close to legendary.. could've displayed a little more detail on the little boy and why he was ashamed.. etc... good multies in most parts, some seemed a tiny bit forced.. but very interesting piece. Good flow overall.. Good emotion... Good story.. wish you'd made it longer..

dope

word... excellent piece... I liked this. Never seen you do this type of shit before... impressed vy.

stay writin.

Yeah, man...

Like, Feebs said...this is almost Legendary...the ending kinda needs work...

But aside from that...damn.

Good shit, great flow...

Nothing more to say except...:thumbup:

Good fuckin work.

^yes very nice work just do sum minor stuff and it would be perfect keep up the writing

Closed. In one of those links you just said one line thing not even leaving feedback on it. So, Closed.