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Today
Today!
The day is today
the day they all will pay.
from here to there
just pretty much everywhere .
the sun is bright
gonna be a dark night
the stars will shine
so constant to remind
that hes not here today
hes been gone since may.
on that gloomy night that,
the rain made him go away.
So tonight the rain will pay
the sky shows no signs of gray
everthing seems like its in the norm
no signs of a storm
everything has changed, but
who are we to blame
he gave me everything even my name
but, now that hes gone that brings me a frown
as the years go by the memories do to
whats left to show that he knew me to or that the love that we shared
all the times that he cared
nothing at all
which is why im still here
watching in fear
as the sky gets dark
theres no shelter here in the park
a rumble of thunder the lightning starts to crack
which brings it all back!
today no-one will pay
because today it his day.
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iuno kinda wierd to me, like a poem more then a freestyle, it was str8, u got room for improvement.. keep dropppin em
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This was pretty good here...I think it was more poetry though...But if you want to get more replies should post it here anyway lol...But i liked it for what it was though...Like i said seem more poetry which is cool...I like reading poetry and such...i liked the meaning behind the piece and word choice you used and how you went about doing so...had some good details and describing in it...But overall it was good for what it is I thought....Keep it up!:)
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nice...not really my kinda shit...more childrens book type ish...
but nice in that way!
do ya thang
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Thanx yall keep it coming, i like to hear what everyone thinks good or bad so keep it comin!!
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This was a nice story, you kept with your idea and went into detail. The rhyming was simple, but it didn't take away from the emotion.
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